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Cold Start: Dad Will Never Notice

Cs Wolseleyhornet

One nice thing about Alec Issigonis’ incredible design for the Mini, seen here in Wolseley Hornet form, with a grafted-on trunk, was the massive door pockets the cars had. This was partially because the early Minis and derivative cars didn’t have roll-down windows, but have sliding ones instead, meaning that the door never needed to house a lowered window glass, freeing up space. Space that can be used for, as we see here, a nice bottle of bourbon, which the child in the ad is clandestinely borrowing to fill his little bottle there in his hand, in order to make the tedious journey to grandma’s slip by in a glorious, brown-liquor haze.

I’m kidding of course – I’m sure that bottle is filled with some other delicious brown fluid, like molasses or mushroom tea or RC cola or gravy. There is a bit of truth behind my little imagined narrative, though: it’s said that Alec Issigonis sized the door pockets to hold a bottle of Gordon’s Gin and a bottle of vermouth so you could have all your martini ingredients right there, ready to go.

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laurawilliams
2 years ago

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Sgt.Oddball
Sgt.Oddball
2 years ago

This design makes a lot of sense since the OG Mini isn’t a hatch which I always found weird.
I didn’t know the Wolseley Hornet existed and now I want one.
Thanks Jason. *sarcasm

Iwannadrive637
Iwannadrive637
2 years ago

Misquoting Sheldon Cooper. “Daddy punished my brother for getting into his driving whiskey.”

TOSSABL
TOSSABL
2 years ago

Huh. This reminds me I haven’t seen a Binky video in sometime

IDM3
IDM3
2 years ago

You had me at RC Cola. All that’s needed now is a couple of Moon pies. Not only is that a good lunch or dinner, especially here in the Deep South, that combo has enough sugar to put you out of your misery for a few hours or so.

JakobKsGarage
JakobKsGarage
2 years ago

Are you OK, Jason?
Not one word on those impressive gothic taillights on this car, or what other cars they’re used on?

MorganGT
MorganGT
2 years ago
Reply to  JakobKsGarage

MG Midget and Morris 1100/1300s, I think.

JakobKsGarage
JakobKsGarage
2 years ago
Reply to  MorganGT

Among others, yes. I think they’re called the Lucas L695.

MaximillianMeen
MaximillianMeen
2 years ago

I think you got it all wrong. Timmy is poisoning Dad. You see, Dad found Timmy’s collection of Selfridges’ catalogs with all the bra sections dog eared and threw them away. Timmy is pissed!

Sid Bridge
Sid Bridge
2 years ago

Holy shit is that Pierce Brosnan?

andyindividual
andyindividual
2 years ago

“Jimmy, the boot is full. Help mum find a place in the car for her case of whisky”

“OK daddy. I can put one here, and one here, and one here…”

CoolDave
CoolDave
2 years ago

Look honey! Little Timmy needs a little hair of the dog for the drive today!

Chris with bad opinions
Chris with bad opinions
2 years ago
Reply to  CoolDave

Like mother, like son.

DubblewhopperNdubbletrubble
DubblewhopperNdubbletrubble
2 years ago

Actual words from my dad..”Jimmy, get your ass back in the car NOW! Jimmy, what the hell are you doing. Your fucking grounded if you don’t get back in the car……”

Doctorwhotb
Doctorwhotb
2 years ago

In his defense, you guys were driving down the interstate at the time.

Razoe
Razoe
2 years ago

Damnit, Jimmy. Not again!

IRegertNothing, Esq.
IRegertNothing, Esq.
2 years ago

I think the kid is stocking the car with booze per his parents’ instructions. These cars hit the market at a time when it was perfectly acceptable to put your children in charge of preparing and serving alcoholic beverages. The kid will probably be making screwdrivers and martinis when the family reaches their destination.

nate8088
nate8088
2 years ago

“These cars hit the market at a time when it was perfectly acceptable to put your children in charge of preparing and serving alcoholic beverages.”

Is … that no longer acceptable?
My friends have their kids mix the drinks all the time….
Kids think it’s great fun.

IRegertNothing, Esq.
IRegertNothing, Esq.
2 years ago
Reply to  nate8088

I think it’s frowned upon now, and if your kids are too good at mixing cocktails one of your guests might call CPS. So play it safe and don’t let people outside the family know that your kid has made so many martinis that even James Bond would be impressed with their handiwork.

Brunsworks
Brunsworks
2 years ago

It’s the UK, so even odds that’s brown sauce for the inevitable picnic lunch advertisers seemed to think family car owners were constantly about to drive to.

Razoe
Razoe
2 years ago
Reply to  Brunsworks

Brown sauce sounds like the least appealing sauce around…… But I definitely want to try it!

Doctorwhotb
Doctorwhotb
2 years ago

Dad has that ‘Leave that alone, you little shit!’ look on his face.

Phreaddy
Phreaddy
2 years ago

No self-respecting British dad back then would be drinking bourbon. So must be a smoky Islay Scotch.

SlowCarFast
SlowCarFast
2 years ago
Reply to  Phreaddy

“So must be a smoky Islay Scotch.”

I think if gin as the quintessential English liquor.

unclesam
unclesam
2 years ago
Reply to  SlowCarFast

Obviously it’s Buckfast Tonic Wine. Yknow, for health.

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