Home » Cold Start: Is This Picture Evidence In Some Cold Case?

Cold Start: Is This Picture Evidence In Some Cold Case?

Cs Vauxhall

This lovely photo of a barefoot woman in a yellow pantsuit standing in the dirt holding a rifle while standing over what looks like a big hole in the barren ground was intended to make you want to buy the car in the background there, a 1966 Vauxhall Viva. Is it working? Do you want to buy a new Viva? Or, perhaps as likely, are you realizing that this photograph will solve a murder you’ve been trying to crack for the past 50+ years?

What’s at the bottom of that pit? Or, if we may be so bold, who?

Why is she out there with a rifle? Is she hunting? But what would she be hunting that needs a rifle out there in what looks like a patch of land just cleared for some kind of major construction? There’s a lot of tire tracks there and almost no vegetation, so I don’t think she’s hunting deer or elk or foxes or, you know, pretty much any big mammal that people hunt.

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

Lizards, maybe? But with a rifle? And in a yellow pantsuit? And barefoot?

Something isn’t adding up here. She looks pretty proud, too, almost like she’s posing for some other photo, with the photographer off-screen to the left. Is she gloating over some victory? Sending proof to her handlers that she’s, you know, finished the job?

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Shit’s going down here, and I want to know what manner of shit it is.

It’s not good, and it’s not selling Vivas, that’s for damn sure.

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SquareTaillight2002
SquareTaillight2002
2 years ago

I think you dropped the tagline.

Vauxhall Viva. Redheads are willing to do anything to get one.

nemebean
nemebean
2 years ago

I’m too lazy to google what “breedsporig” means, but I’m choosing to believe this is a movie poster for a horror flick where the sporig breed in your brain and make you do nonsensical things.

Ron on the reservation
Ron on the reservation
2 years ago

This is my personal generalization and I have spent 70 years of research supporting this observation; “…see that redhead over there, she be CRAZY.”

JRW
JRW
2 years ago

Yes but I think she rates it. On the line, maybe above.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQG_Szz98NQ

undeniableEmG
undeniableEmG
2 years ago

okay but this absolutely makes ME want to buy a Viva,

…also a suit, like in a nice goldenrod?

andyindividual
andyindividual
2 years ago

Now that’s a long gun.

Dale Mitchell
Dale Mitchell
2 years ago

Unwise, nay stupid to put your hands over the business end of a shotgun.
.. Unless the birds that produce the yellow excrement are flying overhead.
Seems to me she is on a hill above the car; perhaps she has just taken out her frustrations on a particularly uncomfortable pair of shoes?

lowwall
lowwall
2 years ago

It’s a shotgun. An expensive shotgun meant for upland bird hunting which in Europe is (was) something done by upper class people with money and leisure time.

So that’s what the gun is supposed to represent. But the dirt pit, the model’s clothing, and the hands over the muzzle make zero sense in that context.

Grendl
Grendl
2 years ago

What stands out to me is that she is holding the gun in a foolish and dangerous way, and that the Vauxhall looks a lot like an Opel Kadett. I guess that makes sense as they are cousins.

CatMan
CatMan
2 years ago

Of all the car ads Jason has shown (and I love seeing them), this one has got to be the strangest in my opinion.
Rifle? Bare Feet? Dystopian Wasteland? WTH

JunkInTheFrunk
JunkInTheFrunk
2 years ago
Reply to  CatMan

This is the stylish dystopian future we need.

GLK350
GLK350
2 years ago

Appears to me the young woman (he she them old young) has prearranged a site for when her (his hers theirs thems) electric car commits self-immolation; the firepersons may put the vehicle in the pit and fill the pit with water.
The possibly illegal projectile launcher may be in case the person that sold the electric car shows up.

Not an electric car, you say, then never mind

ghostpedalsyndrome
ghostpedalsyndrome
2 years ago

Definitely not a hunter, with the egregious muzzle control, unless she’s hunting her own hands.

Maymar
Maymar
2 years ago

Seeing this must have been a pivotal moment for young Quentin Tarentino.

bertfrog
bertfrog
2 years ago

So many questions Jason…

“I wish I had an answer to that because I’m tired of answering that question.”
Yogi Berra

MaximillianMeen
MaximillianMeen
2 years ago

If a Viva is good enough for Villanelle, then it’s good enough for me! Where do I sign? Also, where is the nearest Vauxhall dealer to Austin? Do they do touchless delivery?

Dusty Kornphartz
Dusty Kornphartz
2 years ago

I really like that car. I say Honda Turbo K24 swap, RWD, manual of course.

JRW
JRW
2 years ago

I case there’s an accident she’s holding the shotgun pellets in the barrel so it’s going to be ok.

Jimmy Steel
Jimmy Steel
2 years ago

Marina Butina for the NRA and the new Vauxhall Viva.

Chris with bad opinions
Chris with bad opinions
2 years ago

Just getting her picture taken for the Manson Family album. Nothing to see here.

Slant Six
Slant Six
2 years ago

“…and it’s not selling Vivas, that’s for damn sure.”

Actually… it always good to have a car that knows how to keep its damn mouth shut. Cars like that are the unsung heroes of “Goodfellas” and “Pulp Fiction”.

CUlater
CUlater
2 years ago

The strategy behind this ad practically screams “cocaine is a powerful drug”.

Lokki
Lokki
2 years ago

“He said all we could afford was this lousy Vauxhill…. well not after I get the life insurance money!”

Jack Trade
Jack Trade
2 years ago

I was even extra-confused at first, wondering where in the Netherlands it was so dusty and arid that this would resonate with the intended audience in whatever way it was supposed to.

But then it hit me I was likely off by about 5k miles. Explains the gun.

skim172
skim172
2 years ago
Reply to  Jack Trade

Ahh… it took me a while to get what you meant. But I think you’re probably right.

Didn’t even know they sold Vauxhalls in South Africa.

Salty B
Salty B
2 years ago
Reply to  skim172

The car is LHD. Maybe they did the shoot somewhere besides gray damp Nederlands.

Would it have been sold as an Opel in SA?

Ranwhenparked
Ranwhenparked
2 years ago
Reply to  Jack Trade

The photographer still made some odd choices though

DubblewhopperNdubbletrubble
DubblewhopperNdubbletrubble
2 years ago

“…….James Bond…..suave spy, my ass ….”

Halftrack El Camino
Halftrack El Camino
2 years ago

The way she has her hands clasped directly over the muzzle of the rifle makes me itch.

CoolDave
CoolDave
2 years ago

The Viva, proud automobile of barefoot firearm models!

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