Home » Cold Start: It Begins

Cold Start: It Begins

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Hello, fellow Autopians! Here it is, the first week after the launch, and now we have to keep filling up this site with top-notch car-stuff for you to enjoy. We’re excited. Maybe a little scared. No, that’s the wrong word; I meant frightened. Much better.

[Cold Start is how we’re going to start our days, with an interesting automotive image, and a bit of text. Our way of saying good morning as we pull the choke and try to get started. –Ed]

I picked this AMC lineup to start for kind of symbolic reasons: AMC was always sort of the underdog, which is how we’re starting out, but they were always clever and strange and fun and those are all qualities I hope we have, too.

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

Granted, I’d prefer a different outcome for The Autopian (Powered by Optima Batteries) than AMC, but maybe if Renault wants to pour a lot of cash in us like they did AMC, that could be okay.

Also, I’ll leave it to you to decide who is the Pacer, Hornet, or Gremlin. I’m torn between Pacer and Hornet for myself.

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We have great things coming, but we are a bit understaffed at the moment, so I’ll ask some forgiveness up front: if there’s a typo or two, or the pace isn’t exactly as quick as you’d like, just know we’re trying our best, and will always try to do better.

We want to give you the best place for automotive enjoyment possible, and want you here, every day! So, please, stick around, share the things you like, and give us plenty of feedback–this is your site, too.

Okay, time to write. See you in the comments!

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pip bip
pip bip
2 years ago

bring it on!

Katt_WEC
Katt_WEC
2 years ago

This place already feels like home!

VelvetElvis
VelvetElvis
2 years ago

AMC = Autopian house brand? Excellent!

SLIDTossedPissedinto BleuCHSaladwCroutons
SLIDTossedPissedinto BleuCHSaladwCroutons
2 years ago
Reply to  VelvetElvis

IF AMC were house salad dressing: What kind of salad dressing would it be? Also, what kind of SALAD would it be on?

andyindividual
andyindividual
2 years ago

Coleslaw, but unfortunately with raisins.

Mark Tucker
2 years ago

I still like the looks of the mid-’70s AMC lineup. Yes, even the Pacer. It’s weird, but somehow it works. But the Gremlin is my favorite. I’ve always wanted one, ever since riding in my aunt’s Levi’s Edition when I was little. That’s a concept that should make a comeback, except that these days it would probably be the H&M Edition Kia Soul, or something, and the seats would fall apart after about a month.

Oh, and good morning!

Ranwhenparked
Ranwhenparked
2 years ago

Gremlin all the way – the worst thing you could say about it was that it was funny looking, which isn’t much of an insult when your competition was the Pinto, Vega, and Cricket. Also the only subcompact to pass the IIHS’ crash testing when they first started studying impacts between large and small vehicles in the early ’70s

TriangleRAD
TriangleRAD
2 years ago

Love the Cold Start concept! Added to my startup tabs!

Electra
Electra
2 years ago

Funny how that old hornet became the Eagle 10 years down the road.

outofstep
outofstep
2 years ago

This line made me think of Idiocracy “The Autopian (Powered by Optima Batteries)”

comment image

The Toecutter
The Toecutter
2 years ago

I think Torch is more of a Gremlin, than a Pacer or a Hornet! Maybe David Tracy is the Pacer.

Although the engineer and sketch artist you recently hired might be better described as an AMX and AMX II.

Love the site.

DubblewhopperNdubbletrubble
DubblewhopperNdubbletrubble
2 years ago

My nipples are perked and ready to go for this website to win a Pulitzer. But I am gonna pick the Gremlin, simply for the kick-ass logo.

SLIDTossedPissedinto BleuCHSaladwCroutons
SLIDTossedPissedinto BleuCHSaladwCroutons
2 years ago

I dont think Ive ever wanted another man… to have his nipples Perked.

BUT, if thats what it takes for ya to get started… then fuck it. NIPPLES HARD AND PROUD!

DubblewhopperNdubbletrubble
DubblewhopperNdubbletrubble
2 years ago

Just imagine Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force or better yet …..imagine Red Forman saying his nipples are hard….There I knew you could smile.

SLIDTossedPissedinto BleuCHSaladwCroutons
SLIDTossedPissedinto BleuCHSaladwCroutons
2 years ago

I havent smiled since 1581. It hurt then.. and it hurt now.

However, I think my Nipples are PERKED!

SLIDTossedPissedinto BleuCHSaladwCroutons
SLIDTossedPissedinto BleuCHSaladwCroutons
2 years ago

P.S
If this place gets a Pulitzer on the basis of a bunch of people… started by one dude (I think) and his Perked Nipples… then I cant be mad at that at all.

However.. dont take pics and dont alert the media.

But.. this place is very enjoyable. Also… the hairs on my balls are standing up.

winmaciek
winmaciek
2 years ago

I’m probably one of 3 people who do this but I would be thrilled if the images were included in the RSS feed. As of now, they aren’t and it’s slightly annoying.

Dead Elvis Inc.
Dead Elvis Inc.
2 years ago
Reply to  winmaciek

It must depend on your feed reader’s settings – I get lead image thumbnails in mine (Netvibes) if I select certain options.

Rob
Rob
2 years ago

Looking great gents. My family had ALLLLLLL the AMCs in the 70’s so I can speak from experience:

Given the extremely limited choices here, Torch is 100% the Gremlin.

DT is absolutely the Hornet wagon in the image. I think he would actually be an Eagle wagon 4×4, but I digress.

If anyone needs rationale for these choices, you haven’t been paying attention the last few years.

Thanks again for the site.

SAABstory
SAABstory
2 years ago
Reply to  Rob

That Hornet wagon doesn’t have the Tracy Patina (i.e. copious amounts of rust) but I agree.

CatMan
CatMan
2 years ago

We had a Hornet hatchback in the early 70’s. My most enduring memory is a vacation roadtrip from Houston to Michigan to visit grandparents. Being the youngest child I got the middle hump in the back seat for the 3 day journey.

Rob
Rob
2 years ago
Reply to  CatMan

I was allowed to sit/lay/crouch in the “backity back” as we called it. Which is the trunk. Safety be damned. Also, my father put a radio, complete with 8-track player, in the glove box to thwart thieves he said. I think he just didn’t want to deal with taking out the old radio and making the new one fit.

Autojunkie
Autojunkie
2 years ago

It’s Monday morning and I have a headache, but I have my latte and The Autopian to get me into gear. Let’s get this thing rolling.

Man With A Reliable Jeep
Man With A Reliable Jeep
2 years ago

You guys are doing awesome, I’m an Autopian lifer!

Maybe not the most popular answer, but I’m going with the Hornet. It’s the closest thing to an Eagle, which is a damn national treasure.

Alfalfa
Alfalfa
2 years ago

Gremlin seems fitting for David’s mishaps, and I think the fish bowl kind of resembles Torch’s head.

UncouthSloth
UncouthSloth
2 years ago

Torch, you are most def the Pacer. DT is the Gremlin. I guess that means Beau is the Hornet.

CSRoad
CSRoad
2 years ago

Carl! Ramblers on the Links!

Old Busted Hotness
Old Busted Hotness
2 years ago

So if the morning post is Cold Start, does that make its comment section Noisy Tappets?

martywit
martywit
2 years ago

Well if, as Torch says, the choke’s pulled out, there should be quite the rich mixture of comments each day.

MATTinMKE
MATTinMKE
2 years ago

I second this!

nlpnt
nlpnt
2 years ago

Even looking at the AMC picture for some reason I’m hearing a Mopar starter.

Shop-Teacher
Shop-Teacher
2 years ago
Reply to  nlpnt

*angry dolphin noises commence*

CarlInPhoenix
CarlInPhoenix
2 years ago
Reply to  Shop-Teacher

Great analogy. I soon as I saw that… I suddenly heard that starter on the clapped out 318, in my Dad’s old ’79 Ramcharger, from when I was a kid.

KITT222
KITT222
2 years ago

Fun beginnings to hopefully something great… My friends lost it over STAB’s story, and I’m excited to see David be David on another continent. May need him to nab me some parts for my captive Aussie… Either way, excited to be along for the ride!

SAABstory
SAABstory
2 years ago

Love the Cold Start concept as I always enjoyed those old brochure pics. Honestly I find myself looking at that wagon up there and going “wonder how much they’re going for these days” and then I remember what AMC was like back then. Suppose I need another cup of coffee, as I owned a Renault Alliance and have probably repressed those memories.

JurassicJeep25
JurassicJeep25
2 years ago

What a good way to start!

A related-unrelated AMC story- there was a massive salvage yard we would always pass on my way to grandmas house. Opened in the 50s, this was the 90s. There were the ‘coolest’ cars lined up roadside on a hill as you drove by. I recall an impala wagon, mustang coupe, a dart, and some multicolor car i didnt know. It was red, white, and blue, divided in thirds front/middle/back. Years later, i find out it was an AMC javelin. They used that scheme on the trans am cars. Real deal? We will never know.

Same yard gave parts to my moms fiest car- rebel machine. Wish it still existed.

Icouldntfindaclevername
Icouldntfindaclevername
2 years ago

I turned off all my ad blockers, and don’t see any ads. How are you going to make any money and stay alive. Yeah, I hate ads, but I’d prefer to see you guys succeed. Plus, please no slideshows LOL

outofstep
outofstep
2 years ago

Same here. I never turn ad blocker off but I want these guys to succeed so I’m trying to give them some ad revenue. I know they’re sponsored by Optima Batteries so I hope that’s enough for them.

DarKhorse
DarKhorse
2 years ago

Same here. I’d rather pay a monthly subscription than see ads, but I don’t mind the “sponsored by” thing at all. Hey Pacer – I mean Torch – you guys should put an affiliate link for Optima batteries here on the site so we can buy them and get you a cut of the profits or something (I’m not sure how all that works). I didn’t know about Optima until I saw them on your site and when I researched them, I liked what I saw. So out of Autopian loyalty (we Autopians are known for our loyalty, if not for our intelligence), and because I think it’s a good product, I’ll get batteries from them from now on.

Keep it up – you’re doing great! And I love the “Cold Start” idea. I’m old enough to remember what that feels (and smells) like and it brings back memories — mostly good ones.

JC_06Z33
JC_06Z33
2 years ago
Reply to  DarKhorse

Also agreed, I think a few bucks a month to skip ads could work. I don’t think I want this to go full Defector and block you, but a subscription with some value may work since it seems the people that are going to be hanging out here want this place to succeed.

Side note, I’ve had incredibly bad luck with Optimas personally, although I read overwhelmingly good things about them so it’s probably just bad luck that I’ve had two red tops fail on me over winter storage in five years.

Halftrack_El_Camino
Halftrack_El_Camino
2 years ago
Reply to  DarKhorse

I too would be happy to do a Patreon or whatever, plus I bought some merch. I’d also be fine with sponsored content, as long as it’s clearly marked. (Full disclosure though, I’m not gonna actually read it.) Affiliate links are not a problem, site sponsors are not a problem (as long as any shilling you do is of the so-blatant-it’s-funny kind) and I don’t even see a an issue with a few ads here and there as long as they’re not intrusive. (I’m never gonna turn my ad blocker off though, sorry.) If you plan to run a YouTube channel then ads there are also no big deal (so long as they integrate into the script—it’s annoying when they cut the video off mid-word) and anyway people with YouTube Premium wouldn’t have to see them.

Lastly, have you considered a dunking booth?

I think we’re all on the same page about what we *don’t* want this site to be like. Hopefully you can make this work, because what you’re doing so far rocks!

Gefingerpoker
Gefingerpoker
2 years ago
Reply to  DarKhorse

Just another chiming in to say that I’d happy pay a Patreon style subscription for this kind of content. Also seeing properly nested comments made me squee a little inside.
Seriously, this seems like a great start. If getting money to continue means leaning on the readership rather than taking outside investment at the cost of editorial control, lean on us!

V8 Fairmont Longroof
V8 Fairmont Longroof
2 years ago

SFSG guys – loving it! Can’t wait for Tracey’s visit to Aussie-land! (Long time lurker). March 32nd was an amazing day!

David Tracy
2 years ago

I’m pumped, too. Can’t wait to meet you readers, and of course to hear that sweet, sweet Hemi Six under the hood of my new ute.

V8 Fairmont Longroof
V8 Fairmont Longroof
2 years ago
Reply to  David Tracy

Dude – have been loving your work for years, and can’t wait to see what your think of my homeland!

I’m a Ford guy, but massive respect for local Mopar – hope you make it to Brisbane, where beers are on me!

David Tracy
2 years ago

Drinking with Australians… this cannot end well.

Newt
Newt
2 years ago
Reply to  David Tracy

It doesn’t. Last I did, I ended up trying to track down a pretty important document I left in a hotel safe in Sidney. From the airport in LA…

a man from florida
a man from florida
2 years ago
Reply to  David Tracy

Quick usability note: the header image up top seems to be loading very slowly on mobile. I looked, and it’s 3MB. Maybe the platform needs to optimize photos?

Dead Elvis Inc.
Dead Elvis Inc.
2 years ago

On my laptop, it’s loading even more slowly than a site featuring Kinja. Fingers crossed this is just growing pains.

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