You may have already heard that Lamborghini has been listening to its customers, and is finally making a car you don’t have to get flatbed-towed over a speed bump or small stack of dimes left in the road. That car is the Huracán Sterrato, Lamborghini’s take on the safari-supercar concept. The Sterrato, which will likely be Lambo’s last fully combustion-engined supercar, was officially revealed last month, but they’ve been making promo videos of the car since this summer. Now, the third in their series of “Beyond the Concrete” videos is out, and it’s a fantastic reminder of how you can make even the best-shot, most impressive-looking driving in exotic locations with a supercar seem adolescent and stupid with the simple power of dumb words, read in a doofy voice. It’s humbling, really.
Just so you know and can feel the cringe for yourself, here’s the video:
Right from the first “This one’s for you,” this sounds like a parody of X-treem ’90s-feeling doofuscore-rap bullshit. I mean, I don’t know who that moustache-grower in the white shirt is, wandering around in a cave and throwing sand and saying all those silly, silly words in that sounds-like-a-14-year-old-kid-trying-to-sound-badass voice, but oh man, is it, um, bad.
Maybe he’s a great guy who normally does fantastic work in non-stupid voices and just did this for a fat check. I get that. That’s possible.
Also when he says “concrete yearner,” it sounds like “concrete uriner,” which sounds like slang for a street-pisser.
What is it about this that just hits so, um, wrong? I mean, the fancy lady who gets in her Sterrato to do donuts in the red desert is the expected sort of supercar masturbatory whatever, but backing that with this dude saying
Spray paint powder on tires/that thrive on the rim/Dust is gold/dirt’s for the bold
and
Make gravel rain down/Let adrenaline and fun collide/spraying grains of dust aside
…just makes it all so trite and goofy.
Ugh, the way he says “make gravel rain dawwwwnnnn” I can’t, oy. It’s like 1998 college town coffee shop poetry slam words combined with the voice of someone trying to sell you a highly caffeinated sports drink with a name like Ball Blaster X2100.
I’m very much not the only one to notice that something feels really off about all of this; everyone is talking about it, because how can you not? Look:
WHAT. IS. THIS.
You absolutely must watch (with sound) Lamborghini's latest debut video. If you make it to 25 seconds, there's no turning back. pic.twitter.com/ZCBVDH2L8S
— Engineering Explained (@jasonfenske13) December 1, 2022
what the fuck https://t.co/RJG7FLjywi
— Tavarish (@theRealTavarish) December 1, 2022
This is a terrible V.O. reading. It's like they blended a car commercial script with a rap song that plays during the credits of Need for Speed 2.
— Zack Klapman (@ZackKlapman) December 1, 2022
Our own Matt Hardigree said it reminded him of this song, where some Italians pretend to know English:
…and while I’m happy for any reason to share this song, I don’t think it’s an apt comparison. Because these hepcat Italians didn’t know what the hell they were saying, and I suspect Our Dusty Boy there absolutely knew the words he was saying. Maybe he didn’t write them, but he definitely said the, and even more importantly, said them That Way.
But, maybe Matt’s on to something, and it is someone Italian trying to sound as American as possible, as this person suggests?
I love it, it's so clearly an Italian guy trying to sound as absolutely American guy voiceover as possible
— sound guy under duress (@LeviBetz) December 1, 2022
Okay, that’s a possible excuse, sure, but Lambo must have at least one American who could have given this a listen first, right?
I saw someone fussing about it earlier, thought "surely it can't be that bad" hooohhh boy I spoke too soon.
— driver of car (@mason187h) December 1, 2022
This is spoken word, but intonation turns into a rap-like incantation, which sounds as though written by a 15-year old whose first language is not English (me in 2009). I'm feeling *a* vibe here.
— Tristan S (@tristanxskpn) December 1, 2022
Wait the voice over part is a joke, right? Like someone added it in themselves? RIGHT???
— omgloudmouth (@omgloudmouth) December 1, 2022
Look, Lambo, I get you’re proud of your fun new rugged car and you want everyone to see it tear shit up and kick up dirt and pebbles and that’s fantastic, and we all want to support you. But, at any point when making this video, didn’t anyone say hey, what if we lose the dude with the poetry slam bullshit and just put in some badass music?
I’m just baffled. They had an amazing video with great shots of the car, and now all anyone can talk about is the way it was ruined by that dummy who keeps talking during the whole thing.
Bang up job, Lambo!
Someone needs to make a smash cut of “Concrete Uriner” with that Linkin Park song from Transformers.
That Italian video your reference is mesmerizing! It’s made up words in English. Amazing. Song is good too!
The more I think about it, the worse it gets.
I’m sure this ad campaign cost $$$$$$$.
They could have sprung for an actual hip-hop artist. Maybe even paid them with a Sterrato as part of the compensation package.
Oh well, I guess MCs aren’t interested in things like Lambos any more.
It was so bad, I couldnt finish it.
That is deeply weird. Personally, I think dirtboarding down a volcano looks like more fun than spinning donuts in a Lambo. I assume the woman driving is a gold dust woman.
So, somebody who’s smart enough to have made a shit-ton of money is supposed to watch this and think “damn, I gotta buy one of those!”?
I don’t think so…
(Wait, I just realized there are probably young Sheik offsprings out there who probably would watch this and say “damn, I gotta get my daddy to buy one of those!”)
Haha, don’t conflate wealth with smarts 🙂
If anything, Edgelord Musk is the living proof that privilege and luck masks behind merit and intelligence for oh so long.
While I’m sure there are smart people with money, I believe the crooks, sociopaths, lucky bastards and “[whatever] offspring” variety outnumbers them by a huge factor, way bigger than what “our betters” want us to believe.
This is what happens when you tell the ad agency that your target market is rappers and crypto bros.
So far nobody’s commented on the damn crop circles?!? Egad!! No, I’m not wanting to watch that again to ascertain whether I imagined these crop circles.
This voice-over is obviously the work of Clem Fandango. Yes, I can hear you, Clem Fandango.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnBP_X4Zx-I
“Clem Fandango” sounds like Manny Calaveras’ meth addled cousin from Valdosta.
It probably sounded good in Italian, then they just google-translated it to English. And this is the result.
Was it written by E J Thribb for a rejected Christmas aftershave commercial?
Dust is gold, dirt is for the bold, she was told, to drive the Lambo like it was stold.
I feel trolled.
The new Rick Rolled.
It started with “This One’s for You” and I immediately thought Budweiser commercial. Then it got worse. I turned it off and listened to the vintage Italian hepcat instead.
I feel like Lamborghini would’ve probably did just a tad better if they hired the guys that made this: https://youtu.be/aZrks-BPeLQ
https://twitter.com/sniffpetrol/status/1598339390920704002?t=2RfcUOVGscwHKi0tWFBHPg&s=19
You mean this isn’t the original?
Looks like the first cut to me tbh
That is so incredibly, spectacularly fucking bad that I love it deeply.
Someone needs to redo this ad in other voices. Like Quagmire’s. Giggity.
The real horror for me is the snowboard they ruined here. I couldn’t catch the brand, but snowboards aren’t cheap — at least the good ones are spendy. Maybe the athlete they found for this ad used a beat-up ‘board where the base was already ruined, and maybe convinced the ad agency to pony-up for a new one.
You do know that there is such a thing as sandboarding, right?
As bad as this is (really awfully bad) we’re all talking about it.
So it worked.
There’s no such thing as bad publicity.
I am typing this after I stabbed thine own eyes…
Seriously, Aqua Velva aftershave commercials were a quantum leap better than this pile of gold-dusty shit.
Hey, good call-out: this has a lot of the overly-dramatic, awkwardly phrased hallmarks of that era. I’m thinking of the Hai Karate ones, too.
JFC—this is ALL the cringes
Is this an example of “bad publicity is still publicity”? Nah, this has got to be a tie-in for the NFS: Unbound Sterrato DLC.
First off, what the hell are you doing in your free time, Matt? Watching reruns of an old Italian Benny Hill Show rip-off?
Second, did anyone here ever watch the original Apprentice, before “celebrities” were invited to participate, and before we knew just how awful Trump is? In one series, the contestants are split-up by gender and their task was to develop an ad campaign for the then-new Gallardo. The guys thought that they would nail it and the women wouldn’t have a chance. Of course, the women kicked the guys asses as the Italian rep from Lamborghini was essentially abhorred by the men’s proposal. This “dust is gold” crap is ten times worse than that.
What made them think it needed any voice-over at all? It’s a pretty girl doing donuts in the desert in a jacked-up Lamborghini. I’m fairly sure I had that exact dream when I was 13. Why ruin it?
Look, is it absolutely awful? Yes.
Is “Dust is gold, dirt is for the bold” my new catchphrase. Also yes.
But you have to say it just like he does.
And with a straight face.
That might be a problem. I’ll have to practice.
I’m getting vibes of the “Fortune Favors the Brave” Matt Damon commercial from this years’ Super Bowl. Except that nobody involved with crypto.com back in February could possibly afford a Lambo now…
I’m slightly tempted to have that printed on a bumper sticker for my 25-year-old Jeep.
I think a better question is: How bad is the voice of the actor if they used a voice over?
A more serious question is: Why is Lambo bothering to make a video? It’s not like they have a glut of cars to sell. Sex Panther never had to advertise its product and 60% of the time it worked every time.
I just showed this to my friend who happens to be professional V.O. Actor, mostly to get a expect opinion and also for the comedy value. ( her work is amazing btw)
She visibly cringed, and asked me to never do that again.
I will probably have to buy her coffee to make up for this.
Thanks Lambo.
If V.O. actor friend turns into V.O. actor *special* friend, because of the coffee Lambo made you buy…
All I’m saying is genius looks idiotic until it works.
I’m rooting now for this imaginary pair up, just so a kid can see this video in a “how I met your mother” kind of situation 🙂