We made it! It’s Friday, which means it’s time for us to do something a little special. Today, we’re celebrating the start of New York Fashion Week, in the only way we know how. But before we get to today’s supermodels, we need to finish up with yesterday’s Brits:
Surprising win for the tatty Triumph! Lots of you loved the cute-as-a-button Minor (I know my wife did), but in the end the allure of open-air motoring and some actual horsepower won the day.
Today’s theme was suggested by reader MaximillianMeen, who was shocked to hear that I had no idea that today marked the start of New York’s famous Fashion Week. Sorry, Max; I am not a dedicated follower of fashion, unless flannel shirts from Costco are in this year. I am, however, a Kinks fan, if that counts for anything.
It seems that automakers will try just about anything to make their cars seem special: high-performance variants, stripe-and-wheel packages that look high-performance but aren’t, special editions commemorating this and that, and the focus of our studies today, the “designer editions” that were so popular in the 1970s and 80s. There are still some around: I have recently become the proud caretaker of a John Varvatos Edition Chrysler 300, though it will surprise no one who knows me that I had to look up who John Varvatos is. I do, however, remember the two cars we’re going to look at today, one with a tie-in to famed jeweler Cartier, and the other to leather and handbag specialist Mark Cross. Like all things with designer labels, both of these are ridiculously overpriced, but we’ll let that slide today.
1979 Lincoln Continental Mark V Cartier Signature Series – $22,900
Engine/drivetrain: 400 cubic inch overhead-valve V8, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Medford, OR
Odometer reading: 61,000 miles
Runs/drives? Yep!
1979 was a bad time to be selling a personal luxury car. Gas prices were up, the economy was down, and if that weren’t bad enough, John Travolta was popular. I was six years old, and even I knew shit was bad. And in the midst of all of this, Ford Motor Company was trying to sell a two-door luxury car the size of an aircraft carrier. Miraculously, they managed to move nearly a quarter million of these over the course of three years.
This Cartier Series is one of several designer series Mark Vs sold, alongside editions from Bill Blass, Givenchy, and Emilio Pucci. Each designer series had its own color schemes available, and while I generally am not a fan of white cars, I think this works. The Mark V is such a grand and bold design that it doesn’t need further embellishment. And the white leather seats against the blue carpet is just fabulous.
This Lincoln has only 61,000 miles on it, and it’s just about spotless. It’s powered by the smaller of two V8 engines available, a 400 cubic incher topped with a two-barrel carburetor. Ford’s monstrous 460 was also available, and it got a four-barrel. Transmitting the engine’s power and torque to the rear wheels is, of course, an automatic transmission. Only three speeds; this car pre-dates overdrive automatics.
It’s more than nineteen feet long, it likely gets single-digit gas mileage, and it’s too much to use every day, unless you’re a fictional oil tycoon. But if you’re looking for sheer presence, nothing else even comes close.
1985 Chrysler LeBaron Town & Country Convertible Mark Cross Edition – $15,000
Engine/drivetrain: Turbocharged 2.2 liter overhead-cam inline 4, three-speed automatic, FWD
Location: Riverside, CA
Odometer reading: 18,000 miles
Runs/drives? “Like a dream!”
Taste. Refinement. Subtlety. These are all qualities that no one in their right mind ever associated with the K-era Chrysler LeBaron. Lee Iacocca may have had a winning business formula, but his sense of style was sometimes a bit, well, gaudy. Chryslers of this era adopted a “more is more” approach to styling elements. But if you’re going to get wet, the saying goes, you might as well go for a swim.
The Chrysler LeBaron, and its Dodge 400/600 sister, brought the American convertible back from the dead after six long open-air-less years. Originally powered (if you can use that term) by the K-car’s standard engine choices of a Chrysler-made 2.2 liter or a Mitsubishi 2.6 liter four, the LeBaron got a much-needed infusion of horsepower in 1984 from a turbocharger and multi-port fuel injection. It was about a fifty-percent increase in power, taking the LeBaron’s performance from dismal to merely adequate. (Though I do have a soft spot for turbocharged Chryslers from the mid-80s, due more to the circumstances surrounding them than the cars themselves.)
I wasn’t exaggerating with the name of this car above; that’s really it. This car has more names than Dumbledore. The Town & Country part refers to the exterior fake-wood treatment, with the Continental kit apparently being a rare factory option (I wonder why). To find the Mark Cross part, you need to look inside.
The interiors of ’80s Chryslers was always the best part, and the Mark Cross edition has nice comfy leather seats, and is embellished with little logos on the door panels. The seller does say that it runs and drives perfectly, as you would expect with only 18,000 miles on the clock. And you can rest in the knowledge that, no matter how the rest of the car may hold up, the sound system is indestructible.
Honestly, I don’t know who the buyer is for either of these cars, at the prices they’re asking. You have to really love the car, and have the money to spend, and that’s going to be a rare combination for either of these. But for the sake of argument, let’s say you have the money. Which one is going in your garage?
(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)
Some observations:
1. How big would that Frunk be on the Lincoln?!?!
2. Is that Jon Voight’s LeBaron?
3. Continental kits need to make a comeback.
4. 23K for the Lincoln? HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa!
5. 15K for the K? HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa!
6. Voted the Lincoln.
Nope’d out of the poll, but I do want to check out that Chrysler’s stablemates at what is apparently the Riverside Exhibition of Automotive Mediocrity.
A friend of a friend had one of those Lincolns (not a Cartier). He sold it to buy an engagement ring. My response to hearing that was “Wow, you must really love her.”
How is this even SS even a question? You have to go with the Lincoln even if it isn’t a shitbox.
First off, thanks for listening to this fool, Mark! And yes, bonus points for picking up the Kinks reference!
I prefer the Mark IV’s over the V’s, but I’d still take the V over the K-car. If you have to drive slow, at least arrive in style.
I’m passing on either car to vote for the Kinks, had Something Else and Arthur on repeat this week.
As an aside, that reminds me, I feel as though these polls could use a bigclive-style “neither, but I want to see the poll results” option
Chrysler for me. Screw originality, let’s see how much boost that motor with take before it ventilates the block. Like turbo Caravans, this one deserves a second life of smoky FWD burnouts and general hoonage, price be damned.
Ya know, I hadn’t even gone there, but, now that you brought it up, that’s a great use-case. NO one would expect smoky burnouts from that wood-grained embarrassment.
That lincoln would be a perfect car to teach my daughter to drive in. We start early in my family so she’ll have plenty of car conrol and spacial awareness practice before she gets to an actual road, but ince she does just imagine a munchkin getting out of something that huge, plus I know it was nice to have space for 15+ teenagers to pile in and nothing but a 70s monster can do that task quite the same.
As a former Lincoln and K-car owner, the Lincoln gets the nod.
IIRC in 1979 there was no 460 and only the “Cleveland” raised block 400, the beasts were on their last gasp.
the Modfied M motors (351 and 400) seemed to have a lot of trouble with overheating as I recall. but again they often lugged around a lot of dead weight and were tuned for as lean a running as possible. I can’t in good conscience vote here. they are both massively overpriced in my opinion.
Though I do prefer the Lincoln lines over the Woody K-Car
At those prices, honestly neither.
That being said, the Lincoln leaves the K far far behind it.
I’d greatly prefer to find one of either of those with a blown engine so I could do what I wanted with them. Either of them would be great for that.
Meanwhile, as I said, I choose the boat, not the dinghy.
If I’m going to look like a small time drug dealer, it’s going to be in the land barge. Turbines and acres of dash to snort lines.
These are both magnificent. As you all are well aware I’m a big fan of all things Luxobarge and Luxobarge adjacent, so these both tickle my fancy. As much as I love the Lincoln land yacht and its 70’s pimp interior with the blue carpet and white leather, I’d probably go LeBaron here.
The sheer size of the Lincoln would make it an unwieldy daily and the LeBaron is cheaper, sports lower miles, has a roof that goes down, and it will be more engaging, although it’s like comparing a microwaved pizzas at this point. Neither is going to good, but one is slightly less miserable. Plus the Family Truckster body kit is the icing on the cake.
I’m glad it’s listed for 5 figures and not “F it” money, because if it was listed for F it money I might make a bad decision….
Realistically neither because they’re both insanely overpriced but if I have to choose, the Lincoln. I actually really like those old Lincoln’s and wouldn’t be opposed to owning one but I don’t $22,000 like them. I wouldn’t feel good about paying that much for an old Lincoln but at least I can probably convince myself that I got a lot of car for my money. On the other hand, you’d have to be on crack to even consider paying 15k for a K-Car.
I was ready to vote for the Chrysler until I got to that Pep Boys Continental kit. Also, I call BS: if that was a factory option, why doesn’t the wheel cover match the other four?
Continental > Continental “Kit,” all day long.
Ditto on that abomination
Of all the horrid cars we’ve seen here, none would embarrass me more to sit in than these two. The shame! If it weren’t for the Continental kit, I’d vote for the K-car because it offends me less–but that’s a deal-breaker. The Lincoln is the one rising in value anyway.
I know the Continental is likely the better vehicle, and the white-with-blue is classy as hell. But I have a weird soft spot for oddball 80’s Chryslers, so it gets my likely-losing vote.
I love those Chryslers. I just could not pass up that Lincoln. So I went Lincoln.
I owned a K car and I’d kind of like to experience the “luxury” version LOL.
I was doing a double-take between your Luxo-barge Lincoln and yesterday’s NP or ND Luxo-barge Cadillac. THAT would have been a more interesting question. (Cadillac is the answer, btw.) As for today’s question? There is no such thing as a nice K-car. They only exist for utility.
Which one is going in your garage? Only one would fit.
I don’t think the Lincoln would fit in my garage by itself.
I would not fit in mine; it’s barely 19 feet. I’d have to bust a hole into the back wall.
Welp, it could always bring a friend, mebbe a Mark IV.
I’ve always loved those absurd Continentals. It wears the platform-disco-boot white well. I couldn’t imagine spending that much money on it, but I also couldn’t imagine spending this much on the LeBaron. John Voigt’s pencil in the glovebox couldn’t justify that much. So the great white whale gets my vote.
Neither, please. Though it occurs to me the Lincoln would look pretty snazzy if given the Chrysler’s arboreal side treatment….
It’s a choice between too big/too much and miserable thing/too much.
At least from here, yesterday’s Morris Minor would wax both of these heaps.
At these prices, neither.
But gun to my head, I’m taking the Lincoln. My mom had a pimptastic ’76 T-bird in yellow and gold with a white leather interior. It was glorious, and I would enjoy the Mark in it’s memory.
It’s too expensive and needs a thorough round of upgrades from the Summit Racing Catalogue of Parts That Done Make V8’s More Power.
Also, maybe an E40D transmission swap for some overdrive.
But purely on style points? Phew. K-car vs. the most quintessential malaise-era yacht isn’t even a contest.
Mark V all the way.
I’ll get my yachting license and take the Lincoln. What a magnificent beast!
The Chrysler is ugly. A typical 80’s sedan with bad proportions and slathered in gaudy crap.
The Lincoln is cool, but as dogisbadob said, these are both crackhead prices. The Lincoln might be okay at 1/3 the price, the Chrysler needs to lose a zero.
It’s a 2 door convertible, it’s not a sedan lmao
Clean examples of Continentals/Marks can be found for 1/3 the price of this one. Also the 460 was not available in 1979, it had been discontinued the year before. 400 only for the final year of the true full size car.
The Lebarons are such a POS that I’ve never bothered pricing them.
No way I’m spending anything close to this amount of my own money on either of these, but if it’s someone else’s money, it’s the Lincoln and it’s not close.
At least the convertible is a convertible, and it’s easier to park, but both are crackhead prices