Happy Friday, Autopians! On today’s episode of Shitbox Showdown, the price of the vehicles doesn’t matter at all, because, well, we don’t know what that price is. We’re hitting up the government surplus auctions hoping to score a deal on a cheap pickup truck. First, however, we need to find out which stickshift sedan won yesterday:
And it’s the Camry, by more than two to one. Honestly, this is the smart move: they’re boring as hell, but a tired old stickshift Toyota sedan makes a lot of sense as a beater. Like the old Packard ads said: “Ask the man who owns one.”
Which leads me to today’s challenge. As regulars on Opposite-Lock know, and some folks might remember from that old orange site, I have an ex-government-fleet pickup truck. It’s still earning its keep; currently it has half a load of weeds and blackberry brambles in the bed, waiting for me to finish clearing the brambles and make it a full load to take to the dump. I got it for a song, and from what the guy I bought it from told me, it was sold cheap at auction as well.
Government fleet auctions used to be a cheap source for all sorts of vehicles, but is that still the case? Well, the vehicles are still out there; GovDeals.com shows over 300 light-duty pickups currently for sale. Some are already pretty damned expensive, and others are only suitable as parts vehicles, but in the middle, I found a couple that might end up being decent bargains. Sadly, neither of them is a manual, nor Forest Service Green; those days are gone, I’m afraid. But a truck is still a truck. Let’s take a look at them.
2013 Ford F-150 XL
Engine/drivetrain: 3.7 liter V6, 6 speed automatic, RWD
Location: West Columbia, SC
Odometer reading: 34,698 miles
Runs/drives? “Starts and moves forward and reverse” is all they give us
This Ford F-150 is being sold by the State of South Carolina. It’s 2WD and has the base 3.7 liter V6 and an automatic. Somehow, it has practically no miles on it, but the bed looks like this:
And the interior looks like this:
So clearly they weren’t easy miles. Or the listing is wrong. I’m trying to think of a scenario in which a truck gets a lot of use but doesn’t go very far; all I can think of is groundskeeping. Those scratches and dents in the bed could be the result of shovels and rakes (and other implements of destruction) being tossed back there willy-nilly, and the steering wheel wear could be getting in, driving 100 yards, and hopping out again, over and over.
It has a few battle scars, but any good truck should. Future owners will add their own scuffs and dings, and that’s as it should be too.
It is a short bed, which limits its utility somewhat, but also makes it easier to maneuver. At least it’s a good old regular cab with vinyl seats and rubber floors. None of that fancy carpeting or upholstery for us, thank you.
This one won’t be cheap cheap; as of this writing it’s at $5,000 had hasn’t met its reserve. But it’s a nine-year-old truck with low miles. If you can score it for four figures, you’re probably doing pretty well.
2013 Chevrolet Silverado 1500
Engine/drivetrain: 5.3 liter V8, 4 speed automatic, RWD
Location: Roswell, GA
Odometer reading: 75,855 miles
Runs/drives? “Starts and runs when jumped; drivable”
Same year, same configuration, but with more miles and a V8, this Chevy was owned by the city of Roswell, Georgia. It’s also a bare-bones work truck. It failed its last emissions test due to bad oxygen sensors; they’ve been replaced, but the truck hasn’t been re-tested. If you don’t live in a place that requires emissions tests, you might not care, I suppose.
This one looks a little less worn-out inside, but it’s still utilitarian gray vinyl and plastic with rubber floors. That’s a good thing: if you can’t get the interior muddy and wipe it out, it isn’t a truck, in my book.
This one has a bedliner, so it has been spared the scratches and dings in the bed, but someone has been using it as a catch-all for trash and empty bottles.
It looks OK outside, except for one big ol’ dent in a rear quarter panel. Fence post? Tree branch? Angry kick? No way of knowing.
This one is currently quite a bit cheaper: $1,500 as I write this, and it doesn’t say anything about a reserve. If it flies under the radar for another six days, someone is going to get a screaming deal on this truck. Sure, they’ll have to figure out the emissions issues, but for that cheap, there’s room in the budget for some repairs.
I’ll tell you one thing: after browsing these listings and seeing what’s available, I am never, ever selling my truck. Which means mine isn’t available, so if you want an old fleet truck to bomb around in, one of these will have to do. So which one will it be?
(All images: GovDeals.com)
Thumbed for the Alice’s Restaurant reference. But you missed the chance of talking about an envelope under the pile of trash in the Chevy. I can’t figure a reasonable way to put the 27 8×10 color glossy photographs in, tho.
Voted Chevy cause, in general, I’ll go for a v8 over a v6 due to smoothness, power, and fairly minimal difference in fuel mileage.
I’m going to go with the Chevrolet because there’s a chance that a government truck out of Roswell may have been involved in some kind of extraterrestrial encounter, and what do you mean it’s the wrong Roswell? Don’t ruin this for me!
I voted Chevy, not because I like them – I’m a Ford / Dodge guy. However in my opinion, nothing with a reserve on it belongs in a “shitbox” showdown so the Ford is automatically disqualified.
I gotta go with the Silverado. It’s not a Chevy > Ford thing for me so much as this particular Ford looking like it has gone through the most horrendous 36,000 miles a truck ever has. The bed scratches are less of a turnoff for me than the nasty-ass steering wheel. Wipe the damn thing down when you turn it in for the night! Just because it’s a work truck doesn’t mean you have to go out of your way to trash it.
I currently daily-drive an ex-government truck, a 2002 Silverado 1500 RCLB V6, formerly owned by USFWS. I’d never buy a F/S pickup with an N/A six again. It has 2/3 of the power of the V8 of the same era, and gets the same gas mileage. For that reason alone, I’ll pick the Chevy from this pair.
Yeah, my truck is a V6 too, and it’s… not fast. But it has never felt underpowered, just slow. The granny first gear makes up for a lot, and I’ve climbed our 30% slope driveway with al full load in the back many times without issue. Mine’s thirsty because of the gearing, I think, 3.73 axles and no overdrive.
The Chevy will definitely last longer.
That Ford looks beat to shit, likely with lots of trips taken before the engine could even fully warm up.
Ever since I sold my ’01 Suburban I’ve missed that 5.3 V8.
I’m a Ford guy, but even I have to admit the V8 Silvy for $1500(!) is the obvious choice.
Get the V8. Plus despite “low miles”, that Ford looks like it may have lived a tougher life.
Low mileage means nothing on work and government trucks- I worked with a guy and we bought four GMC pickups that had been used for some sort of military artillery jobs (in Canada) they were four years old and had under 15000km but were trashed- dents, rust destroyed suspension transmission leaks and they had cut a 1 metre wide circle in the roofs of each truck- we put new cabs on them and fixed them and sold them on as low mileage which was technically correct- we did let them know there were former government owned as well. Sometimes like police cars they idle for 24 hours a day and are treated worse than rental cars
Chevy. Buy it. Lower it, put some 20s on it. Fix the dents and wrap the paint. Say you put a cam in it. LOW MILES! Sell in on facebook marketplace for $17,500
I went for the odd ball Ford as long it stays low, it won’t though.
As a dump runner and hardware store go getter it will work. If I can to upgrade the interior, boneyard searches can help out.
That Ford might be one of those things where it wasn’t driven too far, but spent thousand of hours idling with the supervisor inside with the AC on while the worker drones did their thing in the hot sun. All those skin oils soaking into that steering wheel and rotting it out.
Chevy. As others have said the 5.3 is about unkillable. It’s cheap enough that it could be used as a donor for a swap then part it out to recoup the funds. Or bring it up to the Northeast to flip it for $6k or so to fund the swap. After using it for hauling another 5.3 and associated sundries back up with you. NY outside NYC area needs the light off and no more than 1 pending code to pass emissions.
Is this some kind of hoax? It’s the same car on all pictures isn’t it?
This is a mathematical question. 8>6.
Chevy. Better bed, better engine, easier to keep running. Looks like maybe lower price, too.
Don’t forget the major plus of manual windows. And no, that’s not sarcasm, I really wish my vehicles had them well the running ones anyway.
What I really wouldn’t mind is the setup that my dad used to have in a log truck: hand-cranked driver’s window, auto passenger window. That way you don’t have to reach across to have both open.
I voted Chevy.
I’ll risk it having cylinder deactivation and all that over the Rick of the Ford catching fire. (Happened to my step son’s after repair visit at indie shop.)
“So, bye-bye Miss American Pie, drove my Chevy to the levee, but the levee was dry…”
I’d pick the Chevy, hands down. The 5.3l has a well earned reputation for reliability, and 78k miles is barely broken in. From personal experience, an old Chevy will run poorly longer than most cars will run at all. Plus, $1500 for ANY truck, let alone a 9 year old truck, is an absolute STEAL.
The steering wheel on the ford looks like it was driven by someone holding a cat on their lap.
it’s a defect on that model for those years. Neighbor has the same thing and Ford replacements are like $600
So, I’ll start with a disclaimer: I’m not really a “Ford guy” or a “Chevy guy.” Neither truck does much for me, but I’m leaning toward the Chevy due to having the V8 and being cheaper.
That said, it depends on which flavor of shit sundae you prefer to have.
Ford: It has the 3.7, which has the infamous internal timing chain-driven water pump. Evidently, it serves as an intermediate tensioner for the chain, which just makes me all kinds of sad. I don’t like the idea of having to do a timing chain job, ripping apart the front of the engine, just to swap out the water pump, which has likely already brought all the boys to the yard with its milkshake. Oh and cam phasers. Yep, cam phasers are still a thing.
And yes, I know this was somewhat alleviated on later revisions, but the design still sucks.
Chevy: It has the infamous AFM/valvetrain issues still prevalent in the 5.3 *sad trombone noise* Oil consumption? Check. Excessive wear to the lifters? Check. Couple that with a tendency for the DI system to fail and you have some nagging issues. BUT those are still easier to deal with, in my opinion, than internal water pumps and failing cam phasers and a potentially lunched engine.
So…Chevy? I guess?
3.7’s only have internal water pumps in transverse applications.
I checked into that and you’re right. I might have to change my vote.
Cam phasers?
“Set phasers to “CAM!” is what first springs to mind. No idea what a CAM setting would do to an alien though.
All depends on where the market settles. I would have recommended voting on two completed auctions as to which was the better buy. That way you’re comparing apples to apples.
The Chevy is currently cheaper, and the 5.3 is renowned for being hard to kill Plus, bed liner vs. bed replacement (if one cares).
My dad was a Ford man as am I, but that Chevy makes too strong an argument even if the front wheels are way rustier than they should be.
Would prefer a long bed, but since neither have that I’ll go with the lower price.
I was going to say Chevy for sentimental reasons – my dad had Chevy/GMC trucks so by law, while I can own any make of *car* I want (currently a Honda Fit) if I were ever to buy a pickup truck it’d have to be GM.
But yeah, the Chevy’s actually in better condition and at a current $1500 no reserve vs. $5000 reserve not met, a much better deal.