Hello Autopians! I’m going to be out today because it’s Rosh Hashanah, which literally means “head of the year,” because it’s Jewish New Year time, and even in my incredibly pared-down level of “observance” I take off for the High Holidays, and this is one of them. The other, Yom Kippur, is coming up next, and I’ll fast and try to apologize to everyone I’ve been shitty to and try hard to be less shitty, and maybe I’ll get written in the Book of Life, part of the hilariously vague eschatology of Judiasm that answers pretty much nothing. Still, it’s worthwhile practice, asking forgiveness from people. But I’m getting ahead of myself! It’s gonna be 5783, bitches!
Man, Jews have been counting years a long-ass time. How come we don’t have faster-than-light spaceships or food replicators or anything like that yet? It’s the 5780s, man! Jeez. Just think about that: according to the Jewish calendar, we’re right in the middle of the 5700’s Radwood era!
Anyway, to all fellow Members of the Tribe, happy new year, ×©× ×” טובה and all that. For everyone else, I hope your year continues to be fantastic, too. You’re here, reading this, so I think that counts as my tribe as well.
Now let’s watch the Big Matzoh Ball drop! Is that a thing?
Party like it’s 5799, Pal.
Happy new year!
Shana Tova Jason, How is your DIY space laser project going? Also over 5700 years and still no flying cars. Oy Vey.
Over 5700 years and still no flying cars! Shana Tova Jason and how is your basement DIY Space Laser coming along?
Underrated comment.
Shana Tova!
Happy New Year Torch!
So, that’s how you spell it. I absolutely butchered the spelling in an email to a Jewish customer. Maybe I’ll just say Happy Jewish New year next time…
That’s (almost) my car! First car I bought myself, in 1993. Dark red, but not a “heritage” like the one pictured. It’s currently in the barn, awaiting its 4th life. Was wrecked when I bought it, fixed it and wrecked it again. Fixed it and drove it till the engine gave up. Now planning a resto-mod with a twin turbo 351W! Waiting for the last kid to leave home!
I like the way your head works.
Seder hello for me at the Matzoh Ball!
Oops, wrong holiday. Now I have something to atone for. ????
You Jews and your holidays. I’m checking this website on Christmas and there had better be something fresh about sleigh taillights!
Exactly. Like how can Santa’s sleigh travel at the speed of light and still illuminate ahead of himself.
If his sleigh looks blue, you need to get out of the left lane and let him pass.
The only vehicle that shows a steady red light to the front?
Shana Tova, Jason! (hope I got that right, it’s been a while since I’ve been in Israel near Rosh Hashanah time).
Growing up in Columbus, I remember radio adverts for Roush Honda. I can’t go all day without remembering that.
Happy Roush Honda to you and your family
Excuse me sir, my family only celebrates toyotathon.
Oh and Happy Rosh Hashanah!
“Jason, Jason! Only once a year we see you nowadays! Our Rabbi says your Rabbi says he never sees you. So what are you doing? Your aunt Sophie- she worries.
“I got a new job Uncle Joseph.”
“So wonderful! Finally! I told Aunt Sophie that whole car magazine thing was just a phase, and you’d grow out of it. She said that a married man with children should have grown out of it years ago, but finally! Is it in a bank? A stock broker’s maybe? Medicine was too much to ask maybe, but a real job!”
“Actually, my friend and I started our own business.”
Well… uh… that’s great! I know that the big companies are hiring in these terrible times. At least you’re not a writer anymore. Aunt Sophie always said that writers are just painters who can’t paint. So at least in your own company you have a job title I can brag about to my friends at the golf course?”
“Well, I’m a Senior Editor at a website. It’s really popular, Uncle Joseph.”
What, still with the writing? Okay, okay. But thank goodness that you finally broadened out and got out of the car business. Who needs a magazine to tell them to buy a Lexus? So Senior Editor! That sounds great. Freddy with his lawyer nephew can shut up now his big cases in front of Federal Judges. Tell me What does a Senior Editor do so I can tell Aunt Sophie to practice before I shut up bragging Freddie? ”
“Well, I am in charge of the tail light department, but I also wrote a story about cars with handles on their noses yesterday.” And right now I’m in charge of the whole website while David is in Australia. Oh, and I guess you could say that means Mercedes works for me, kind of.”
“Tail light editor? Nose handles? Mercedes? German?
“Mercedes, well, she isn’t German, Uncle Joseph….”
“Should old acquaintance be forgot? Apparently Mister Big Shot Writer thinks so. What, you’re so busy with that website you can’t call?”
I was dying the whole time but this line…
“What, still with the writing?”
Bravo!
This is gold, Jerry! I tell ya, Gold!
You made me laugh out loud, BigThingsComin. Get OUT!
The syntax is *chef’s kiss* perfect.
“You see that dirty fellow in the tin hat standing next to my Jason? He’s an engineer!”
Happy New Year! Your skepticism of it is about the same as mine, and I’m not Jewish. Maybe that’s not good?
So, will you find yourself still writing 5782 on your checks for the next month?
Shanah Tovah to you
Happy New Year!
I always think of this generation (the “Fox Bird”??) as being *the* T-bird of the entire ’80s, and then remember there was the warmed over ’70s version for the first couple of years.
I’m kinda like when Hollywood does a retro movie, takes the most recognizable feature of a given decade, and then exaggerates it to the point where people not around then might think that’s how it was all the time.
Like, the ’80s actually did have colors that weren’t neon or pastel. A lot of brown, actually!
You forget that 80-82 T-Bird was still Fox Body, just with a 70’s wrapper. Not excusing it, just is what it is. Ford had 7 different vehicles running around on the Fox Platform in 1981, and they all looked shockingly similar to each other.
My wife went to her first Rosh Hashanah last night! Going back tonight, so I guess it was pretty good.
Happy New Year, Jason, and may your Thunderbird rest in the shade of a palm tree.
Or at least your Yugo (or more likely your wife’s Tiguan?) rest in the parking lot of someplace that makes a good Carolina BBQ brisket.
But not a coconut palm, because those things leave a hell of a dent.