There’s a lot of things I don’t currently have at this very moment: a reliably-running car, hair in a small yarmulke-sized patch on the crown of my head, and any non-embarrassing clothes to wear when I head out to Pebble Beach to cover all the rich-people cars there next week, for example. But that last one I’m solving thanks to something important I do have: a wonderful friend I’ve known since I was five years old who has great clothes and is about my size. This friend also finds himself in a position where he needs a car, so I figured I’d try to return his clothes-lending favor by asking the best crew of car-selectors in the known universe. That’s you.
My friend is named Jeremy, and unlike all of us, Jeremy is a successful, well-adjusted person with a real job and a wife who went to 9th grade prom with me and dogs and a house and no painful obsession with cars. He’s a huge F1 fan, sure, but when it comes to cars he’s very much a normie, in that his needs are rational: safe, reliable, all that. Oh, but he does play a double-bass, so he needs something that can haul around an instrument the size of a corpse.
He had a 2013 Subaru Impreza Wagon that was just wrecked and totaled, which is why he’s in this position. Insurance gave him about $11,000 for the car and he’d like to spend up to about $20,000 total, which is actually a good number, because here at The Autopian we’ve informally decided that if we ever do regular Help-Me-Pick-A-Car posts, we’d like to make it so they have a $20,000 cap. It just feels right that way.
So, what can we find for Jeremy here? He wasn’t that attached to his old Subaru, so don’t worry about brand loyalty. My fear is that his set of requirements will mercilessly shove him into the arms of that safe, reliable, but boring triumvirate of the Toyota RAV4, Honda CR-V, or Nissan Rogue. Maybe that’s fine, but I’ve never been crazy about the Rogue’s CVT, and, dammit, I just want more for him. But it can’t happen at the expense of usability or reliability or just overall ease, so my dream of him shoving that bass into the back of a Citroën DS Break probably isn’t realistic.
We were considering a pickup like the Ford Maverick, but the bed is just too small for a bass, and most other pickups aren’t what he wants, either, because a bass isn’t just a bunch of lumber or bags of peat moss. You can’t just fling it into a truck bed, so he’s not really interested in the truck route.
With this in mind, I’m going to ask Team Autopian to come up with three choices for him: a safe one, a bold one, and, yes, a bonkers one, because I’m here to entertain, too, dammit. And you can vote on the best ones!
And, then, of course, I desperately want your choices in the comments! Because you’ll likely have ideas we didn’t consider! So let’s get to it!
Torch’s Picks
Safe: Mazda5
The Mazda5 is a rational, useful reliable car that happens to be a blurry mix of SUV and minivan. I always liked the swoopy character lines, and the side sliding doors should be great for getting Jeremy’s dogs in and out. Seats folded, there’s plenty of double bass room. Maybe even triple bass room. You can find good ones of these for less than $20,000 still.
Bold: 1990s Buick Roadmaster Wagon
I have a bit of inside information here because Jeremy told me that he kinda wanted a big car for a change. And, if nothing else, a Roadmaster is a big car. Plenty of double-bass room, ideally that wood paneling, and, really, it’s not hard to keep going. Parts are common and relatively cheap, and sure, it’ll drink gas, but that’s a small price to pay for living-room luxury and class out the ass. You can find these in great shape for between $10-$15,000 or so, too.
Bonkers: Nissan Rasheen!
I’ve always thought these were cool. This JDM little SUV has all kinds of boxy charm, should be able to fit that bass fine with the rear seat folded, and has gobs of right-hand-drive weirdo charm. If it’s anything like my Pao, it’ll be a reliable daily driver, too. Duncan Imports has these for a very reasonable $6,900!
Matt’s Picks
Safe: The Honda Element is likely spacious enough for large stringed instruments and is efficient to boot, with an interior that can be washed if your dog makes a mess.
Bold: A Ford Transit Connect has enough room to hold both a double bass and the longing regret your significant other feels at not locking down Jason after junior prom.
Bonkers: I still think the 1st gen Subaru (GF) WRX wagon was the best looking WRX and it’s a shame we never got it here, but this one from Oishii Imports is half your budget and not Concours-clean so you can actually use it without fear of harming a future classic.
Mercedes’ Picks
Safe: Toyota Prius
The Toyota Prius is not a car that will excite you with its driving dynamics. Instead, it’s meant to do one thing and one thing only: Reliably pass fuel station after fuel station. The one in my shared fleet has been a reliable workhorse and even fits a surprising amount of crap in it.
Bold: AMC Rambler
The good thing about not having kids is that you don’t have to worry about if your daily driver is safe or not. So why not get a classic? An AMC Rambler has solid classic style and you can find them for cheap all day long. Plus, they can be found in a variety of body styles.
Bonkers: Volkswagen Touareg V10 TDI
Look, you aren’t spending money on feeding, clothing, educating, or otherwise keeping children alive. That means that you can spend more money on cars! Why not spend it on one of the wildest SUVs to ever grace the planet. Yes, the Volkswagen Touareg V10 TDI requires you to drop the engine to do any repair, but the second you hear the sound of that engine (like a Lamborghini mixed with a shaking can of bolts) and the thrust of the torque you’ll fall in love. Then you’ll fall out of love when your mechanic buys a yacht with your repair bills.
Thomas’ Picks
Safe: Prius V
Everyone knows about Toyota’s archetypal hybrid, and the Prius V is an immensely practical MPV variant of the popular battery-augmented fuel-sipper. It’s about as exciting as unbuttered toast but its deeply pragmatic nature is exactly what most people want in a daily driver.
Bold: Audi A7 TDI
An economical and wonderfully-appointed diesel luxury sedan that just happens to be a cavernous hatchback. The first-generation A7 may be getting older, but it still looks and feels like an $80,000 car. You’ll have to look really hard to find one within budget, but wallet-friendly examples are out there.
Bonkers: BMW x5 M
Why not throw sensibility out of a fifth floor window and pick up a fire-breathing 555-horsepower super SUV with a manufacturer-claimed zero to 60 mph time of 4.5 seconds? It may be rated at 14 mpg combined, but it’s less catastrophically unreliable than its N63 V8-powered little brother, so that has to count for something, right?
[Editor’s Note: Thomas has assured me all of these can be found for under $20K, if you’re willing to look. – JT]
The Bishop’s Picks
Safe: Subaru Crosstrek
The reliable Japanese choice (now that the head gaskets in these aren’t made of wax paper anymore), you can at least get it in REAL COLORS, like bright orange and the not-grey-not-blue like a Fiat Strada, so you can’t lose it in a parking lot
Bold: Audi Allroad
I think that twenty grand could get you one at the bottom of the depreciation curve but not in full meltdown mode just yet…maybe
Bonkers: LaForza
A handbuilt off roader with an American V8, but Italian electrics, in a constant fight…and you can guess who’s gonna win THAT one.
Okay! David’s being interviewed for an AMC documentary, so you’ll just have to imagine his rust-saturated selection of Jeeps. Now, let’s see what you like best from each category.
First, which Safe choice do you prefer?
Okay, now pick your Bold choice:
And finally, the Bonkers:
And, of course, comment! Give us better ideas! Jeremy needs a car!
Can I offer a suggestion: Kia Soul or Toyota Matrix? Maybe a Honda Fit? Each of these, with the back seats folded down, should be able to swallow the double base.
And they all get reasonable to great fuel economy
Got a 2012 Prius v Three for about $12,000 in late 2019. No idea what they go for now, but I would assume(/hope) it’s under $20,000. Would absolutely recommend that for a safe option. Roomy and efficient. Only bummer is that they gave it the same 12-gallon gas tank as the standard Prius, but with the (slightly) decreased fuel economy it has less range.
For a combination bold/bonkers option, I’m going with a late 90’s/aughts conversion van. You can find plenty under $8,000 on Craigslist and Marketplace (at least where I am, anyway) and that should leave you several years of gas and repairs til you hit $20,000. Depending how much you drive, anyway.
Mercedes’ Prius comment of “Reliably pass fuel station after fuel station” also applies to them. My ’97 had had a 33-gallon tank and you could exceed 500 miles highway driving on one tank. (That your time at gas stations is extended and tearful is a minor difference.)
Anyway, the fuel might hurt and the repairs can too if you don’t do due diligence, but you’ll feel like a god sitting on your comfy throne with a high view, NA V8 (even if slow…), and you can easily get more use out of it than 85% of pickup owners ever will.
Boring: Prius V, or a Sienna or Honda Oddessy if you need more room. VW and Volvo wagons are a huge hell no, budget another $5k to 7k for the next 5 years of repairs.
Bold: Full size Chevy conversion van. Or full size pickup truck with a tonnaue cover. Or a long bed Tacoma. Trucks at $20,000 might be rough, ton of miles, or white reg cab/long box work truck spec.
Bonkers: Mitsubishi Delica 4wd with 8 sunroofs and the crazy 90’s bus seat upholstery option
I love me a Rasheen. Drove one in Japan for a bit and chased one through the streets of Melbourne on my bicycle to see if the owner wanted to sell but they are tiny! There is no way you are fitting a bass in there. I think Honda Odyssey is the smart choice because you could actually fit another band mate and their instruments and not have to travel to gigs on your own!
My suggestion for future iterations of this feature: David Tracy is limited to suggesting vehicles from his own fleet until it is depleted enough to accomplish his move to LA.
As a CrossTrek owner, I can say it is good safe middle of the road choice.
The 90s wagon just screams different and the JDM WRX screams “Take my money!” Which is why I selected them.
The Audi was a contender.
For something not on the list, a Volvo V70 Wagon. This covers all three areas and will fit the stuff you want in the back.
Prius V is a great choice, assuming it can fit a double bass
But SO LOUD inside.
My vote would be a Ford Flex – plenty of room with the 3rd row down. Growing up, my brother played the tuba, and we had quite a hard time getting it into the back of our Corsica Hatchback!
Every upright player I’ve ever met drove an inappropriately small car. I remember a guy with an 80s Hyundai Pony hatchback. Recently met another who had a Honda Fit which at least is spacious.
Safe: 14 Ford Flex Ecoboost: The wife has one and it is just terrific. She is thinking about something newer but I have no idea what can replace it
Bold: 88 Crown Vic wagon. The girl I bought mine from used it for transporting her double bass. Just saying…
Bonkers: GMC Motorhome: the coolest way to transport the bass and also have a place to sleep off the after party
1. Toyota Prius V
2. Ford Transit
3. 1937 Packard Hearse
Now you need to do it with an Octobass… because double bass is for wimps.
For reference : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Octobass
Ok, two things:
1. Ford Transit
2. Torch, you need to get a yarmulke wig. It’s a yarmulke with a with on top! It’s perfect! And nobody can laugh and say “hur hur nice rug brah haw haw haw!” because then you just say “HEY MAN, this is RELIGIOUS and you’re an ANTI-SEMITE!”
I think I remember an ad where some guys in a band (rock, not orchestra) stuffed the back of a Dodge Magnum with instruments. I tried to find it, but didn’t see it in my extensive (5 minute) research. I did find out, though, that it’s the #1 used car bought by millennials.
Thru HS, I regularly transported my bass, my friend’s cello, her brother’s trumpet and the three of us, in my ‘73 Beetle (with rear seat folded). Took about 5 minutes of careful lifting and twisting during loading, but never sustained any damage. Fun times but safety was a little sketch.
Have owned a 2012 Mazda 5 for 10 years and 102k miles. Highly recommended if you want a small vehicle with maximum carrying space. Wife likes the small size and she gets 25 mpg commuting side streets. If you keep it under 75 it’ll get 28 on the highway provided you’re not bucking the wind. Do 80+ and it’ll run out of steam in the hills and mpg drop to 25 or less. Does have a 16 gallon fuel tank so it’ll eat miles
Mini Cooper. It can be done (1:40 mark)
https://youtu.be/samNHsF2NhI
You disqualified David because he has the only right answers, didn’t you?
BUY A DAMN JEEP.
Why? It’s right in the name: sport UTILITY vehicle. They don’t make anything that won’t hold a double bass. Fold the back seats down in a WK2 and you can carry two. Even the misery of the Patriot can hold one. Buy an SJ and you can carry the whole quartet before you add a roof rack!
Also, you’re all fired. Why?
NOBODY picked a minivan?! Seriously?! The ultimate of safe choices? Sigh. I mean come ON. The Toyota Previa supercharged and Renault Espace turbodiesel were RIGHT THERE!
Find a good minivan in the specified price range. It’s not at all easy to do that, which makes other choices much more attractive.
Safe – 2020 Chhrysler Voyager for just at $20K https://www.cars.com/vehicledetail/3d2aed4f-ce7d-4d62-81c9-5b7e3be271fc/
Bold – 2012 Porsche Cayenne https://www.cars.com/vehicledetail/cd24642b-9e23-4e67-a3ec-d4242d4ff87d/
Outlandish – 1967
pontiac Bonneville…..would you look at that trunk https://www.cars.com/vehicledetail/ba72d46c-0229-4685-9d95-ff387652e715/
Ooooh, I know the answer to this. Story time: The year was 1992, and I was working part time in sales at an Acura/Isuzu dealer. A super nice guy comes in and is very interested in one particular Acura model. There’s an issue, though: he plays double bass for the Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra and his instrument must fit inside the car! He comes back later with the double bass, manipulates the passenger seat just so, and – IT FITS! The car was a 1992 Acura Legend Coupe and yes, he bought one.
I spent a couple decades driving a double bass around in the back of various Jeep Cherokees. Even with the back seat folded down, the neck still goes between the two front seats. I’m pretty sure it’s not going to fit in some of these little hatchbacks, like the standard Prius, though to be fair I’ve never tried, and it’s been years since I’ve been in a Prius. The van is big enough if you have a good setup to secure it, without damaging it, so it’s not sliding around back there. Really the Touareg and the Roadmaster are the only ones I have much confidence in for bass hauling without testing any of them out in person.
I couldn’t bring myself to come up with safe options, but here are a couple of real options:
Bold: Immaculate 92 Mercedes Benz 300 TE Wagon
https://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/cto/d/oakland-immaculate-92-mercedes-benz-300/7514205067.html
Bonkers: 1972 Ford LTD Country Squire Station Wagon
https://sfbay.craigslist.org/scz/cto/d/santa-cruz-1972-ford-ltd-country-squire/7516868431.html
Extra Bonkers: 1972 Volvo 1800 ES
https://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/cto/d/san-francisco-1972-volvo-1800-es-recent/7519738094.html
Honestly, just get a minivan for unparalleled ease of double bass transportation and comfortable driving. Vans are wonderful
Make it a Honda Odyssey, and you can transport your cargo while hEaRinG dAt VtEc KiCk In, yO
Ah the double Bass.Likeable and impossible to play badly.The opposite of your hateful cousin the violin then
I like me a car website where one of the main guys has to borrow fancy clothes.