“AMC 360 article” reads the subject line of an email that will forever go down in history as the most epically unhinged correspondence I’ve ever received. The message, from a Wisconsin reader named John, who used his actual email for some reason, is so unbelievably vitriolic and unhinged, one could argue that it’s traveled the full circle from low-quality junkmail to literary masterwork. Because for what it is, this threatening bit of hate-mail is actually beautifully written.
[Note: This article includes harsh and threatening language, which we at The Autopian take seriously. With that said, I’ve moved recently (and done some research into the email’s author), and don’t feel like I’m in any real danger. I also want to note that I don’t know what the author was going through at the time he sent this email; I wish him well. -DT]
Let’s Establish That I’m Not A Huge Fan Of The AMC 360 Engine
Back in April, shortly after the founding of this website you’re currently reading, I wrote an article titled Why The AMC V8 Engine Found In Some Of The Greatest Cars Of All Time Is Such A Humongous Pile Of Shit. Here’s a screenshot of the headline and top image, which shows an AMC V8, an equals sign, and a rather cute little poop pile sitting atop an American Motors Corporation logo:
A little controversial? Sure. Maybe even provocative. But I have good reason for this; I’d owned multiple AMC 360-powered Jeeps, and they were all inefficient, underpowered, and not particularly easy to work on. Plus, in the case of my 1979 Jeep Cherokee Golden Eagle, the motor was actively ruining my life — a fact that, as I noted, factored into me writing that article:
[Before I get started, allow me to just vent for a moment. I spent all of Sunday trying to get my 1979 Jeep Cherokee Golden Eagle’s replacement AMC V8 engine running. Should I have been editing, writing, answering emails, researching, and hiring? Yes. But instead I was elbow deep inside what has to be the most poorly designed engine I’ve ever had the misfortune of dealing with. The shittiness of the AMC V8 is severely jeopardizing The Autopian’s future outlook; that’s fitting, in some ways. Anyway, it’s not solely my frustration that’s leading me to write this article; the AMC 360 truly is a poorly-designed motor, as I will now show].
My article continues with me contrasting the unstoppable AMC inline-six and the rather-stoppable 360 V8, which was supposed to be an upgrade:
You may know American Motors Corporation as builder of the greatest Jeep engine of all time, the AMC inline-six, a motor that came primarily in 232 cubic-inc, 258 cubic-inch, and 4.0-liter displacements. This long iron-block motor, found in pretty much every Jeep between 1970 and 2000 — was absolutely unstoppable (If you want to be “in” with the Jeep crowd, just say “That foar leeter is bulletproof I tellya” anywhere near a gas station) thanks to its simple design, ease of serviceability, and plentiful low-RPM torque.
It’s surprising, then, that the same company that built that amazing off-road motor developed the AMC V8, a contraption whose only reliability was liability, and that was ubiquitous in AMC products for decades. The thing went in damn near everything as the “step-up” from the six cylinder, even though, really, it was a huge step down. Let’s take a look at some machines burdened with hauling around this iron menace.
From there, I point out the AMC 360’s suboptimal timing cover design. From a packaging/complexity standpoint, it is brilliant, but the fact that the engine’s oil pump has a tendency to eat itself and starve the motor of oil is just sad:
AMC owners also complain about lubrication concerns with the rearmost cylinder, I have complaints about packaging making the engine relatively difficult to service, and of course there’s the fact that the 500 pound mill makes no power and sucks fuel like mad. Plus, parts aren’t that easy to find.
There’s a reason why so many Grand Wagoneer owners just yank their V8s and chuck in Chevrolet Small-Block motors.
I realize it’s controversial, and plenty of folks in the comments took umbrage with my criticism, and that’s fair. Maybe I was a little harsh. I can see how this particular part of my article venting about an engine whose design I don’t like might have ruffled some feathers, even if it was meant to be a bit tongue-in-cheek:
I’m fairly sure fellow AMC-lovers are going to come out of the woodwork to defend the AMC V8, which came primarily in three variants: 304, 360, and 401. “Mine has driven over 200,000 miles,” some will say. “This guy just doesn’t know how to wrench,” others will claim. “It was a torquey, stout motor,” many will cry. “Some of these have been built into highly successful race motors” others will assert. And to them I say: Wake up.
I was a sheep like you once, having fallen head-over-heels for the American Motors way of life. The soulful designs; the charmingly weird blend of Ford, GM, and Chrysler parts; the generally-stout hardware; and just the bold, Smallest-Of-The-American-Automakers rough-and-tumble way of doing things. Like you, I used to see AMC vehicles, especially Jeeps, through rose colored glasses. Hell, I currently own seven AMC-era Jeeps, and I’ve owned many more in my past! I even visited Kenosha a few years ago solely to pay homage to AMC, and I recently snuck into the old American Center former headquarters in Southfield, Michigan. I’m a diehard AMC fan, believe me.
But I have no choice but to call a boat-anchor a boat-anchor…
So now that we’ve gotten that established, let’s get to the death threat:
The Death Threat Email
Three months after publishing that article, I received the aforementioned “AMC 360 article” email. I’ll just paste it in its entirety, and then go through it line-by-line afterwards:
Your article about the AMC 360 is wrong and you’re a complete dipshit. The reason your engine failed is because you didn’t do routine checks and preventive maintenance on it before it failed.You’re a fucking ass clown for blaming the engine for the problems that you yourself created after you failed to perform the maintenance an old vehicle needs to prevent problems with it in the present day!Nope… You probably bought an old vehicle and just kept driving it instead of properly sorting it out. So then, after this mess you caused for yourself, you being the overly accomplished writer you are, took it upon yourself to write an article and trash an entire line of engines that is known for beating the Big 3 on the drag strip and in many other racing outlets from it’s inception until present day.Oh and let me guess. You probably weren’t even using oil designed for flat tappet camshaft engines too! Right? Haha. You were probably using some bullshit oil you bought from a gas station down the road because it was good enough! Right? Or was it the same oil you like to use in all those Jeep Cherokees you have rotting away in your back yard. Yeah. Yeah. I know your kind of people. Those are all the “some day” projects. You know. The projects you’ll eventually get to “some day” after you finally strike it rich with your whimsical writing ability!!! Right??You sir fancy yourself as a Jeep aficionado but you are not. You’re some clown that buys old Jeeps and parks them in your back yard… or seeing that you’re from Florida… front yard… so you have something to tinker with then write about or make videos about with your buddies to try to make money from with your new stupid website!Here’s the bottom line dude: You’re just a garbage wanna be journalist out there getting attention for himself to sell merch and making a living. That’s all you are. A pathetic little man with a big stupid mouth.So this is what I’m going to tell you right now. If I ever run across you in public, I’m going to make sure you never write another thing about an AMC v8 engine ever again. That’s a promise dude.Now if you can please go properly fuck yourself, I’d really appreciate it. You miserable piece of shit. Fuck you!
My lord. Okay, let’s just go through this a bit, because it’s just so gloriously juicy.
Your article about the AMC 360 is wrong and you’re a complete dipshit. The reason your engine failed is because you didn’t do routine checks and preventive maintenance on it before it failed.
John comes out swinging with a strong opening line. He establishes that I’m wrong and a dipshit — honestly, from a journalistic standpoint, this is a strong lede. He then claims that my engine’s struggles are my fault, not AMC engineers’ fault. But before we go too long without some spice, he follows that up with this:
You’re a fucking ass clown for blaming the engine for the problems that you yourself created after you failed to perform the maintenance an old vehicle needs to prevent problems with it in the present day!
A “fucking ass clown”! Let’s continue:
Nope… You probably bought an old vehicle and just kept driving it instead of properly sorting it out. So then, after this mess you caused for yourself, you being the overly accomplished writer you are, took it upon yourself to write an article and trash an entire line of engines that is known for beating the Big 3 on the drag strip and in many other racing outlets from it’s inception until present day.
Here John sarcastically pokes fun at my writing skills, and notes — as I predicted in my article — that the AMC 360 has some race wins under its belt. Then he gets seemingly belligerent, laughing about the oil I use and making fun of my Jeep “collection”:
Oh and let me guess. You probably weren’t even using oil designed for flat tappet camshaft engines too! Right? Haha. You were probably using some bullshit oil you bought from a gas station down the road because it was good enough! Right? Or was it the same oil you like to use in all those Jeep Cherokees you have rotting away in your back yard. Yeah. Yeah. I know your kind of people. Those are all the “some day” projects. You know. The projects you’ll eventually get to “some day” after you finally strike it rich with your whimsical writing ability!!! Right??
Well John, I’ll have you know that I use Shell Rotella, which has over 1,110 parts per million zinc — it coddles those flat tappets like a mother coddles a newborn! Plus, I’ve mostly kicked my Jeep hoarding problem!
Let’s keep going:
You sir fancy yourself as a Jeep aficionado but you are not. You’re some clown that buys old Jeeps and parks them in your back yard… or seeing that you’re from Florida… front yard… so you have something to tinker with then write about or make videos about with your buddies to try to make money from with your new stupid website!
What?!
…
This whole Florida part about a front yard is so absurdly strange that I don’t even know what to say. Who in this situation is from Florida, and what does that have to do with which yard you park your cars in?
Also, don’t call The Autopian stupid! Me? Sure, but not The Autopian. You’ve taken this too far, John! Too damn far! But he goes farther:
Here’s the bottom line dude: You’re just a garbage wanna be journalist out there getting attention for himself to sell merch and making a living. That’s all you are. A pathetic little man with a big stupid mouth.
Is it bad that my biggest concern with the quote above is the lack of parallelism? If you’re going to write “sell” you have to write “make,” not “making.” Parallelism matters!
Anyway, let’s get to the part that seems an awful lot like a death threat:
So this is what I’m going to tell you right now. If I ever run across you in public, I’m going to make sure you never write another thing about an AMC v8 engine ever again. That’s a promise dude.
Now, there’s a chance that by “I’m going to make sure you never write another thing about an AMC v8 engine ever again. That’s a promise dude,” what John means is that he’ll sit me down, and present a slideshow that irrefutably extolls the virtues of AMC V8s — a slideshow that will forever change my view on the engine that I called an “iron menace.” It’s either that, or he plans to injure me in such a way that my writing abilities are severely compromised. Though really, if we’re being honest, this is a death threat.
All this over an article about an engine that hasn’t been in production for over 30 years, by a company that hasn’t existed in over 35 years, and built in a plant that no longer exists! This whole thing is nuts, though I have to applaud the way John concludes, because — like that lede — it’s quite effective, journalistically speaking:
Now if you can please go properly fuck yourself, I’d really appreciate it. You miserable piece of shit. Fuck you!
one of my biggest regrets in my car owning history was being talked out of putting a SBC in my Wagoneer and rebuilding the 360.
The live reading of this email was epic. I was convinced that we would be solving a murder mystery later that night to discover who “John” really was!!!
We decided at some point it was the guy passed out on the couch and he was just waiting on us all to leave/fall asleep before making his move
This really is an oddly-specific trigger point. I’m just imagining John’s day up until he read that article…
“Hey John! Your mother is ugly!”
John: Eh.
“Hey John! Your kids aren’t yours!”
John: (shrug)
“Hey John! Your doctor called and he said to stop putting cigar cases in your…”
John: Thanks. I’m good.
“The AMC V8 is a substandard engine.”
John: I’LL MURDER YOU!
Oh, man. You know things are about to get serious when they write “ass clown” as two words.
Don’t take any crap from him, David.
My exhaustive research, based on sample size n=1, concludes that a sludged up 258 with 0 oil pressure at hot idle OUTPERFORMS a rebuilt 304 that replaces it.
I still regret not rebuilding that 258, but the 304 was free, yada yada yada
“you being the overly accomplished writer you are”
Maybe this was just the biggest backhanded compliment ever? You should definitely put “overly accomplished writer” on your business card in any case. 🙂
You know, there are some things in the world I can understand writing an email this strongly worded about. I still wouldn’t agree with it, but I’d at least understand.
But Jeep motors? JFC, get a hobby, touch grass, whatever else the cool kids are saying these days.
Something tells me that dude has a lot more going on in his life than what we’re seeing here.. call me crazy..
This would be scary to receive, and the fact that you’re still so kind and open to your readers after these types of things is really nice David. Most people are good, the vast majority are good. This guy? I want to know which uncle touched him and where.
On the old German Lighting Site from whence David came, a couple of the women that wrote there had a video series where they shared all of the nasty, vitriolic, and creepy *fan*mail they received regularly. People are disappointing sometimes.
Watching Kristen and Alanis read their email was simultaneously the best, most entertaining content and the worst, most embarrassing reflection of car culture.
I mean, based on some of your past exploits, I can kinda guess where John is getting the idea that you do half-assed wrenching, but those are mostly in field conditions and not at optimal conditions that you’d find at home in a clean, orderly garage.
:cough:
Anyways… I’d be very surprised if someone doesn’t supply retrofit kits to fix that damn stupid oil pump design. Seriously, a CNC laser and some time with some calipers and you’d have a file for a shim plate that would prevent the gears from eating into the base plate.
Of course, the engineers at AMC should have thought about that as well.
Probably because too many of those V8s have already been lunched. You’re not wrong, there should be something to correct this design flaw, but what’s the point in buying the tooling to produce something fix about 237 engines remaining? Not much of a market.
AMC Engineer: “There’s a problem with the oil pump as its designed, you see, when -”
AMC Bean Counter: *gingerly sets down Pinto bean* “That sounds like a problem for the aftermarket to take care of. Now where was I? 2,489? No…dammnit, now I have to start over again…1…2…”
Can’t wait for the next article on an AMC V8!
Same here. No rush, since there’s no rush at all, but now, John just needs to learn more about that engine family from the engineer David happens to be.
John seems really upset.
Gotta give John props for the correct usage of “you’re” throughout his email, though…
If I had a dime for every time some internet nut swinger threatened me, I’d have enough money to buy a classic AMC Gremlin with the 360, and swap it out with a SBC.
Assuming you can find one that hasn’t crumbled back into the earth.
If the 360 is NOT a giant Cleveland Steamer, what stranded the newlyweds?
The only thing that made sense to me was the FL content 😀
Wait, are you from Florida?? I thought you were a German/Midwestern man.
As a born’n’raised FloridaMan, despite him being born in furrin lands, we would gladly welcome David to our family of freaks and weirdos should he decide to move down here one day.
He should fit in nicely
David, after a period of relative radio silence from you, the title of this article concerned me for a moment. Glad to see you’re doing fine and still putting out bylines.
David, just be glad you’re not Jewish. Or black. Or trans. Or…
This, all day long.
Hey John, if you happen to be reading this, get some fucking help dude.
He’s not on meth, from the lucid writing and proper spelling. The help he needs can easily come from a Federal prison, since using electronic interstate communications to issue a death threat is a Federal crime.
John has some anger problems. I probably would too, if I owned something with that piece of shit AMC 360 V8.
To be fair to John, I have the same reaction when someone opines in the comments that the Viper engine is based on a truck design, or was created somehow by Lamborghini.
So it was originally made for a Lamborghini tractor? Noted. Thanks for the information. I’ll be sure to pass it along at every opportunity.
*hand begins twitching uncontrollably*
My coworker who has a new Kia Niro Hybrid pulled in behind me today and said “hey I love your Kona, we practically have the same car!”
.…I’m not saying I died a little inside but I’m not not saying I died a little inside
A former coworker of mine had a Mini Cooper in the same red with black stripes as my Viper and always insisted on parking next to me so “we could be twins”.
The car has also been misidentified as almost every notable performance car brand at one point or another; the worst though was the guy who called it an “orange-ish Porsche” which raises more questions than I care to dig into.
Isn’t the Viper engine just a Lambo V10 with the overhead cams and 2 valves per cylinder removed to lower the cost?
LOL
Nice, David!
But, being serious for a minute, maybe don’t attend any meetups in that general area for a few years? You researched him, not me, but it seems prudent not to tempt fate/give the disturbed a target. His reading comprehension isn’t great, so I suspect his persuadability isn’t high on the scale, either.
Also,
Wow; just wow
Pretty sure John worked for AMC back in the 70s…
I was reading this thinking that the whole time. John found the article months after publication and got all riled up, then sent an email from his real email because of course he did. All of this is shit my parents, in their 70s, would do.
What he meant by “If I ever run across you in public, I’m going to make sure you never write another thing about an AMC v8 engine ever again” was that he has access to the original presentation that AMC engineers gave to the execs to sell them on the 360 and he’d be happy to give David that presentation if you’d give him a few minutes to get the slide projector set up.
Joke’s on this guy, no one is a bigger threat to David Tracy than David Tracy
*door slams open*
*piano player stops*
long slow pan up
Ferrous Oxide – “Hold my beer”
*door slams open*
*piano player stops*
long slow pan up
A Harbor Freight jackstand looks at Ferrous Oxide: “Here, Rusty, hold MY beer”
People will die on a rather large hill (mountain?) to defend a piece of shit motor. Especially in FB groups. And, like you said, it’s usually the “well my so-and-so motor went 200k miles with just oil changes!”
See 6.4 Powerstroke, 6.5 GM diesel, and rotary people to name a few.
MY EA888 HASN’T LITERALLY BLOWN UP SO ALL MODERN VWS ARE RELIABLE!!!!
Hey, rotaries are great totally unreliable, polluting, inefficient engines!
Or the 7.3L Ford diesel V8 crowd. Yeah that engine was reliable, but by modern standards, it’s an inefficient polluting POS.
Sir, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, the 13B?
I get the same response from Subaru owners.
Stockholm Syndrome is a powerful thing.
John, from Wisconsin, this is a Wendy’s!
He did enough research to use your Jeeps against you, but not enough to realize you know what you’re doing? Or that Michigan is not, in fact, a region of Florida?