Home » Tales From The Slack: The Most Awkward Thing David Tracy Has Ever Said

Tales From The Slack: The Most Awkward Thing David Tracy Has Ever Said

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tacotruckdave
tacotruckdave
1 year ago

Hey DT is a hell of a nice guy who makes the big mistake of sharing too much of himself on the internet.
Therefore I desiginate Thursday as leave DT ALONE. Crap on him the other days. We all could be better by having a DT in our lives. And thats coming from an ahole like me.

H T
H T
1 year ago

I have a friend who until about 40 years of age, thought “more cushion for the pushin” was just a silly way of saying someone was, let’s say, pleasantly plump.

She never stopped to consider the actual words and what they meant. She probably used the phrase around family and loved ones hundreds of times over the years.

Mr. Asa
Mr. Asa
1 year ago

Late to the party, and this is literally a 5 minute photoshop job, but…

Does anyone remember the plot to Death Proof? A weird stunt guy drives an old Dodge and tries to get off by doing dangerous things to co-eds? That and something about a lot of close ups of feet.

Anyways. Here.
comment image

Mr. Asa
Mr. Asa
1 year ago
Reply to  Mr. Asa

This needs more than a photoshop. Anyone any good at deep fakes? Can we put David in Death Proof?

Ruivo
Ruivo
1 year ago

This, dear David, is waht you get when you try to apply logic to human language. “Shitting one’s pants/trousers” conveys a much stronger/frequent reaction – at least considering that you live your life on the edge of a rusty razor. Of course that this would be the first thing that you thought of when you heard that expression! Especially considering that semen is more likely to dry and flake from your pants (or so I heard) , while the brown stuff is really creamy (OSIH)!

nate8088
nate8088
1 year ago

Does anyone else want to just pour David a glass of sweet tea and say, “Oh, you sweet summer child….”

nate8088
nate8088
1 year ago

Oh my god, it’s like so many people who thought “Netflix and chill” meant what it meant, and used it with work companions. But…. so much worse.

nate8088
nate8088
1 year ago
Reply to  nate8088

I’m seriously snort-laughing right now.

Thad
Thad
1 year ago

Now you know the reason all the kids thought you were weird in school. Most of us will never have that luxury.

Truly so funny. Thank you JT so much for sharing this.

JerryLH3
JerryLH3
1 year ago

Holy crap, and I thought the first slack tales was the laugh at the end of today I needed. Nope, this was even better.

LTDScott
LTDScott
1 year ago

And now it makes me wonder if the infamous “shower spaghetti” David is into actually means a waffle stomp. I’ll let you look that up if you don’t know what it means.

LTDScott
LTDScott
1 year ago
Mercedes Streeter
1 year ago

As the Autopian’s HR department, I…uh…I’m not sure how to handle this.

DoctorNine
DoctorNine
1 year ago

With nitrile gloves and Lysol wipes. You won’t need a mask unless any of it was aerosolized.

parsko
parsko
1 year ago

MH, you mean your car almost creamed it’s pants.

Thad
Thad
1 year ago

LMFAO!

SosoTsundere
SosoTsundere
1 year ago

I was half expecting it to be a story about spilling creamed corn he was eating in the shower onto the pair of jeans he was going to change into, so this… is a plus?

Donald Petersen
Donald Petersen
1 year ago

It’s okay, David. We’re not laughing at you, we’re laughing *because of* you.

Oh, wait… that’s not any better is it?

Anyway, I still think it’s sweet that, Army brat though he was, he still has a charming Midwestern naivete about the foulest of our schoolyard euphemisms.

Mark Tucker
1 year ago

Trying to decide if “a peek at the sausage” is the worst way to refer to this story, or the best…

Jalop Gold
Jalop Gold
1 year ago

Disappointed at the lack of Reddi Whip content.

newbalanceextrawide
newbalanceextrawide
1 year ago
Reply to  Jalop Gold

That image is fantastic, and somehow made me think of the Reddi Whip commercial where the diner waitress was asking the customer which she wanted and held up a tub of Cool whip and a can of spray-white stuff and said “Oil, or cream?” It meshes with this article nicely.

SCorasaniti
SCorasaniti
1 year ago

David,

Thank the Lord above this isn’t Tumblr.

fourmotioneer
fourmotioneer
1 year ago

I learned “raw dog” at age 27. I had been using it at work pretty often without repercussions

3WiperB
3WiperB
1 year ago

On pretty much 100% of work-related slack channels, I would highly recommend against posting and/or clicking video links that have a caption of “that video mad me cream my pants”.

Otter
Otter
1 year ago

As if David’s life choices aren’t evidence of enough kinks.

wotsac
wotsac
1 year ago

Am I the only one who can’t get James Spader and Elias Koteas out of their mind RN?

Jack Trade
Jack Trade
1 year ago
Reply to  wotsac

You beat me too it. Well played

And the funny thing is the novel is actually twice as, er, challenging as the movie.

bockscar
bockscar
1 year ago

Does anybody still wonder why he’s still single?

Ruivo
Ruivo
1 year ago
Reply to  bockscar

“Does anybody believe he’s still single?”
Fixed that for you 🙂

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