One of the greatest things about being a car enthusiast is enjoying a road trip. It doesn’t matter where you’re coming from or where you’re headed because getting behind the wheel and hitting the open road is going to be a good time. Well, unless your chosen cuisine for a road trip doesn’t process well.
Now, when you go on a long trip, you’re bound to run into some possibly helpful advice. You’ve probably heard it before: don’t eat the tuna sandwich from a rest stop vending machine, steer away from the gas station burritos, and you probably don’t want to drink something that’ll make you pee.
David Tracy somehow outclasses us all on poor dietary decisions. At the old lighting site, it was an open secret that he stored food in a truck bed during the winter. When I came over to help him wrench, he gave me a bottle of water from his outdoor “refrigerator” that I had to wait several hours to melt before I could drink.
And now, to kick off his cross-country move, he’s apparently enjoyed spaghetti in his shower. Neither of our dear leaders has informed us of the logistics of this. Did David go through the entire process of making spaghetti, then just eat it in a shower? Was this some way to avoid doing dishes? Is eating spaghetti in the shower relaxing?
Well, we may never find out, because David went down for the count after eating more mashed potatoes than any mere mortal can handle.
And as a response to David’s bad decisions, JurassicJeep25 came swinging, winning today’s COTD with this banger:
So what you’re saying is David’s palms were sweaty, knees weak, arms were heavy? There was vomit on the dash already, shower spaghetti?
It should come as no surprise that at least a few of us at the Autopian ignore the advice of well, everyone, and just eat whatever we want like feral animals. I ate a gas station burrito before seeing the Ford Transit Trail, and I found myself glued to every truck stop toilet between Michigan and Illinois. And one time, I ate unpasteurized raw bacon while on a road trip. I tell you what, that was the worst dietary mistake that I ever made in my entire life. I had a day-long stomach ache before I vomited at the summit of a mountain while straddling the state line of Tennessee. Have you ever puked in two states at the same time?
Oh, and I don’t recommend consuming one of those huge jars of whole pickles, either. Look, I was pretty much a walking pickle for a week. I feel like this parody song is fitting for this situation…
We’re watching the comments, and it seems like a number of you want “Shower Spaghetti” merch. Well, that’s a crazy idea, and we like it! Maybe we can work something out here. At any rate, our brave trio will continue their journey westward, and given the updates thus far, there’s probably more calamity to be had!
Top Photo: Speakman Company.
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As I’ve gotten older, homeless and a convoluted degenerate, I literally drop trow on the sidewalk, in front of patrons dining on the patio of an establishment and pinch a deuce the radius of a pringles can, wipe w/ a leaf of toilet paper from a nearby portable potty. Im not using one of those filthy smelly j johns!
Spaghetti Monster blessings of noodley goodness to all in 2023.
Autopian is more fun than Car and Driver ever was. I used to be an Opel Manta nutcase. I’ve got that going for me, which is nice. ;p
David’s shower setup:
https://youtu.be/NMQTg4Y0YT0
Forgot about that episode. Kudos and LoL.
It’s probably another pop culture DT won’t get when the team gets to LA.
Next time the gang is back in Detroit we need an Autopian meetup at Eminem’s Mom’s Spaghetti restaurant. Yes folks, it’s a real place. They serve spaghetti in Chinese takeout containers.
https://www.momsspaghetti.com/
I could see those containers being helpful when eating in the shower. Just close up those flaps when you lather up.
Umm, looking at the helpful list of things not to eat, you forgot truck stop sushi. Luckily for the curious, I have tried it. Kinda dry and bland, and surprisingly didn’t cause intestinal distress. But then again I have a trucker stomach. I’ve ate all the stuff on that bad idea list. How am I alive? No clue.
Have you ever seen unrefrigerated street sushi being sold in a country with a hot climate? I have, hard pass, although I think I took a picture.
Smart man. There is risky, then there is ridiculously stupid. I’m sure the picture got food poisoning
I can totally imagine David eating his spaghetti out of a hubcap in the shower.
hubcup fresh from his dishwasher loaded with degreaser
I was picturing David eat it out of a 4.0 oil pan that had been washed with brake cleaner.
Shower nozzle? No, friend. That’s a spätzle maker.
(Not even kidding. That top graphic is a dead-ringer for one of these guys: https://www.loewen-meta.com/products/goldspatz-spaetzle-press?variant=41021531357379)
Now I finally learn the real reason that my father, and his father before him, insisted on packing loads of food for road trips… You can’t make good time if you’re glued to a toilet.
Huh. As I read the preview for this post, “Lose Yourself” popped in my head, obviously due to the spaghetti reference. I had not read JurassicJeep25’s comment in the original post. I then clicked into this post expecting to make my own comment of something like “Too bad David left Detroit, we clearly missed the opportunity for some sort of collaboration with Eminem for Mom’s shower spaghetti.” Then I read that this was essentially what the whole post was about, heh. Great minds think alike or something like that.
Looks more like ramen noodles to me.
Detroit-style pizza withdrawals are in full effect.
Sounds like David didn’t miss his chance to blow.
Is David a pastafarian ?
Perhaps this is his ritual to the FSM in return for knowledge
Biggest question; is this the first time the famously pop-culture-blind DT has even heard of Eminem?
From what he’s written I believe he grew up partially overseas and in a relatively sheltered environment here in the US so it’s possible he doesn’t know who Eminem is but I’d say unlikely. During David’s life the man has been one of the biggest music acts in the world. That plus all the controversy early in his career makes me think David has at least heard of him if not heard his music.
Not to mention Eminem is from Detroit.
Additionally, if Dave could provide the recipe for shower spaghetti (or any other shower related foods) that would be awesome.
Make it a semi regular ongoing series: The Pastopian. ????
1 can spaghetti. Not the schmancy Chef Boyardee stuff, store brand.
Approx 1 cup water
Shampoo to taste
Combine on plate, mouth and feet.
David: Excuse me waiter, I wasn’t offered freshly shredded Irish Spring to taste.
Lather, rinse, and repeat! Daily!
Knowing what David has written and shown in the past, I’m assuming he cooks the pasta whilst in the shower.
“Who cooks ’em? I suck ’em frozen.”
(Something like that, from Annie Hall, iirc.)
Being glued to a truck stop toilet is no fun. I’ve been there before, making the sound of a boat motor that is trying to sputter to life, but inevitably fails, each time. Not a good place to be.
I LOL’d at the boat motor! Thanks Toecutter! I needed that!
That’s what motorboating means?! Wow… I was way off.
I had buffet sushi while in Thailand. I paid the price hours later in a mall bathroom.
I saw things that no living person deserved to see.
Not all public bathrooms are created equal.
I don’t know how Thailand’s restrooms are, but one of the U.S. truck stop restrooms I was forced to use had these funky stalls that were only about three-and-a-half feet tall. With all the food I go through, I was in no position to argue with my GI tract, so rather than fill my pants with vileness, I took a seat, pretending that the other people in the room weren’t there. While I was sitting on the porcelain throne sputtering away, everyone who walked into the restroom could see me from the torso up over the walls and stall door, including those washing their hands at the sinks, since I could see my face in the mirror at said sinks over the stall door. And that’s not even the worst facility I ever used, because at least it did have a stall, with a door, and no one really saw anything objectionable.
A number of rest stops, truck stops, and campgrounds I’ve been to had doorless stalls, or even toilets completely out in the open with nothing covering them at all.
When you gotta’ go, well… anything is better than the side of the road in traffic I guess.
This reminds me of the time my family stopped at a rest stop when I was a kid. I walked into the bathroom looking for a stall to use. I didn’t know the stalls lacked doors, so I was surprised to look in one and see an old bearded guy dressed like a biker with a leather jacket and jeans sitting on the toilet. This image is still in my brain 30 years later.
Some things aren’t very forgettable, which makes using such a setup all the more awkward, because others might form the same kind of memories about you.
If you’re driving down the road trying to hold back some sort of fetid morass as it is building up an uncomfortable level of pressure, and finally come across a designated facility to address your biological need, it’s a total buzzkill to walk into the place and not only find that it is crowded, which is daunting enough with the standard American stall setup with a door, but that also everyone in there can openly see you do your business like you’re some kind of zoo animal, all because the minimum modicum of privacy typically provided and/or expected is completely absent altogether.
I’ve seen too many places that have restrooms as described, missing stall doors or stalls altogether. Rest stops, truck stops, city/county/state parks, campgrounds, public swimming pools, bars, gas stations, bus stations, schools, county/state fairs, libraries, and so many other places. Sure, these are well less than 1% of public restrooms in the U.S., but they exist in enough frequency that I’ve come across them way too many times for comfort, whether I had to desperately use them myself or unwillingly got to see others using them. I’ve lost count of how many random strangers’ butts I’ve seen out of my peripheral vision while actively trying to avoid looking at them as I went about my business.
Sometimes, holding it is not a viable option, which just ends up making everyone in the room at least sort of miserable, in what should be a room of rest. It’s even worse if you’re accompanied by people you personally know, because they get to see something about you they probably will not see before or after. It turns out the U.S. and China really aren’t as different from each other as one would think, just on the basis that both countries provide plenty of locations where performing boldly ablutions is rendered into a social event due to the design of the designated facilities to perform them. Perhaps the comparisons of present-day U.S. to ancient Rome aren’t so off base either, given this.
Still better than the side of the road. Imagine being honked at by random strangers driving by, or even being taken out by a car while doing that, and how much that would suck. This is also why Oklahoma’s toll roads are evil.
Knowing what I do about David, shower spaghetti is probably a jeep thing and we just wouldn’t understand.
Do you have to go outside and flip upside down to eat it?
(Ugh, a new email link to log in everytime is kinda annoying.)
This is the absolute correct answer today.
The second I saw that comment I knew this was the only logical conclusion.
This has to do with membership. I commented on the David/Jason transcontinental saga and stated you got me as a member. Unfortunately I am unable to sign up. I am presently signed into the site but each time I try to give you $$. It tells me that I have an account and need to sign in. I do this and am back at square one- signed in but system says I need to sign in. HEELLLPP.
Hit them up on the tips email. They help quickly even if you aren’t sending money yet. Money should make it quicker
+1 on TOSSABL’s comment. I’ve had some login issues and they were super helpful. Also, for some reason the login links they send work for me on Chrome only, but not on Firefox.
Can also confirm: v. good cotomer sevis.
tips@TheAutopian.com or hit the link in the top bar. Include your account info so they know who you are, too.