Welcome back to Shitbox Showdown! It’s May the 4th, which apparently holds some significance for fans of some science fiction movies, but us cool kids know that 5/4 belongs to Dave Brubeck. So in honor of weird time signatures, let’s “Take Five” and look at a couple of five-cylinder cars.
But first, I want to apologize for the kerfuffle with the poll yesterday. I clicked on some doohickey wrong, and broke it. I can balance SU carbs by ear, and wax enthusiastic about Procol Harum’s music, and discuss the symbolism in T.S. Eliot poems, and bake a mean chocolate chip cookie, but I’m an idiot when it comes to this tech stuff. Special thanks to Jason for fixing it. I’ll try to get it right today.
Speaking of yesterday (when Shitbox Showdown wasn’t such an easy game to play), let’s see how the vote went down.
Again with the Saab! That’s twice now I’ve put some charismatic old diesel up against these Swedish weirdos, and they’ve both lost. I will find something to defeat a Saab some day. Just gotta find the right McEnroe to go up against Borg.
But let’s see what we have today. Let me tell you, it’s not easy to find five-cylinder cars in our price range any more. I had a line on an Acura Vigor, but they went and sold it this morning and the ad disappeared. (The nerve.) And I almost chose an Audi 5000 here in town, but it’s over-budget at $2900, and I’m trying not to keep this strictly local. Facebook Marketplace turned up nothing at all, and Craigslist wasn’t much better.
While looking for these cars, I started thinking of other ways to add up to ten cylinders with two cars. Obviously 6-4 is an easy split. 5-5 takes some doing, as I found out. 8-2 is theoretically possible, but I’d have to find an old rear-engined Fiat or a Citroën 2CV or derivative in our price range. 3-7? Nope, 3 is easy, just find a Geo Metro, but no 7-cylinder engines exist in cars. 1-9 has the same problem; you could use a King Midget for a single cylinder, but the only 9s I know of are radial aircraft engines or big diesel marine engines. 10-0? Possible, if I could find a cheap Ford van with a V10 and a half-dead Nissan Leaf. (Or an RX-7, but that’s cheating.)
But that’s neither here nor there. Today, your choice is between a Mercedes, and… a Mercedes.
1977 Mercedes-Benz 300D – $2500
Engine/drivetrain: 3.0 liter diesel inline 5, 4 speed automatic, RWD
Location: Northridge, CA
Odometer reading: ad says 36,000, but I suspect they forgot a zero
Runs/drives? “Drives perfect”
The one, the only, the legendary W123. Built like a tank, drives like a tank, and kinda looks like a tank, come to think of it. Such an early 1980s yuppie icon that Jackson Browne featured it on the cover of his 1983 album Lawyers In Love. Designed by legendary Mercedes design boss Bruno Sacco, and powered by a range of stout inline engines including this nigh-invincible 5 cylinder diesel, these cars may very well just keep trundling along until the end of time.
It’s not fast. This is an eighty-horsepower engine in a thirty-five-hundred-pound car. But the feel of these things is inexorable, relentless; it doesn’t so much accelerate as acquire velocity, and it feels like no force in the universe could stop it from doing so. It’s very civilized. But a Hyundai Accent will blow your doors off.
This one looks a bit unfinished. The interior door panels are off, and the carpet is AWOL, and I don’t know what’s up with the holes on the sides for the bump strip. Is that tape covering the holes? Or did somebody fill the holes and primer over them? It’s bizarre. But if it runs as well as the seller claims, and the interior pieces are included, it could make a nice inexpensive entry into the world of Mercedes diesels.
It’s a world I keep threatening to enter. I keep getting a jones for these old Benzes; one of these days I’ll show up with one, and my wife will want to kill me. So I’d better make it something more put-together-looking than this one.
1984 Mercedes-Benz 300SD – $2500
Engine/drivetrain: 3.0 liter turbodiesel inline 5, 4 speed automatic, RWD
Location: Fountain Valley, CA
Odometer reading: 286,000 miles
Runs/drives? Yep
If the W123 was just too, too common for you, you could step up to the W126-chassis S-class. For twelve years, this car was just about the best big sedan you could get. Available with a variety of inline sixes and V8s in Europe, the S-class was initially limited in the US to a small V8 or the venerable inline 5 diesel, fitted with a turbocharger to improve the acceleration from tectonic to merely slow. But in an S-class, you always arrive precisely when you are meant to, so why hurry? They’ll wait.
We can’t tell a whole lot about this car from the few photos provided (other than the manicured Orange County neighborhood in which it resides), but the list of recent replacement parts is impressive: the transmission, battery, and tires are all new. That, combined with the bulletproof diesel engine and the car’s overall phemonenal build quality, should keep it on the road for a good long time.
Sure, it’s a little rough around the edges, and the paint is essentially matte at this point, but those are just signs of a life well-lived. If you can show me another car that has this much presence and authority to it at nearly 300,000 miles, I’d be surprised.
So there they are, our two old odd-number-cylindered Germans. Neither one is exactly five-by-five, but neither one is a disaster either. Which one is a better choice? That’s up to you.
Having driven a turbo and non turbo, I’ll take the turbo any day. The lag is crazy but once it kicks in its sort of fun to drive. Also it is more complete.
300 SD all day. New bits added, with none of the original bits removed. Not to mention one of the added bits is a turbo.
I’d pick the 300 SD. Both are great choices, but upgrading the injector pump to larger threads on the 300 SD could be the ticket to a reliable 300 horsepower. Myna Performance out in Finland upgrades the injector pumps for a not-so-small amount of money. And with a conversion kit, you could run it on waste fryer oil.
I once owned a 300 SDL, with the 3.0L inline-6 turbodiesel, making all of 149 horsepower. Unlike the two choices in this topic, it had “normal” acceleration. At about 3,900 lbs, it could accelerate from 0-60 mph in around 11 seconds with a glacially-slow take off, but 30-80 mph felt like a car that did 0-60 mph in around 8 seconds. It would do 120 mph all day long without a hiccup, and got 30 mpg @ 70 mph. It felt like driving a floating Lay-Z-Boy. Considering that dynamically it was like driving a rolling bank vault, the performance and fuel economy were both quite impressive given what a monstrosity of a vehicle it was. Parts were dreadfully expensive.
Bringing back nightmares of my ’84 300TD. Oh I grew to hate that thing. I always thought my experience may have been different had my car been a 240D with the manual. Still, the thoughts of chasing parts from arrogant jackasses who are doing you a favor to rip you off 10 ways from Sunday is enough to keep me from going there again.
Chose the big S class here, but I’d have picked the “just shoot me” option had it been available.
Too bad there wasn’t an Audi Coupe GT and 1993 VW EuroVan 5 speed to choose from. I might have picked the “just shoot me” simply because I couldn’t choose between them! Probably end up with a similar experience (chasing parts and mysterious problems), but at least the vehicles themselves would be more interesting (to me) than a heavy slow sedan that drank expensive fuel, hopefully justifying the frustration when something goes awry.
I have both of these with the W126 being a Limousine model. I love these old diesel Mercedes, but there’s just something about the W123s.
I always manage to pick the least popular shitbox, but I think even I got this one tied up.
“300SD, Das Beste Oder Nichts.”
This should be a blowout for the S
Love the body of the ’77, but they. were. so. s. l. o. w. Drove around in one in better shape in early ’90’s & that one was 0-60 in 30, but also got 30. I think the Germans were into 3 divisible then…
S-class for me. If you’re going to do a diesel Mercedes, do it big. The host of new parts and the fact that it doesn’t seem like someone else has been poking around in there helps sweeten the deal
The S-Class is missing the hood ornament 🙁
No hood ornament, no sale.
You’re right! Maybe it’s not as nice a neighborhood as it looks.
Depends if it’s included. If not, rub. If so, shit happens.
Having owned two 300Ds and having bought a pristine custard-yellow 240D for my ex-wife (who promptly rear-ended someone in it, just like she’d done in the car it replaced, one of several signs that I should have called an attorney years before I did), I was prepared to vote for this one. But the 300SD is so much cleaner and more complete, and still has the bombproof 5-cylinder diesel. No comparison.
The W123, when finished, would have more of a presence to it when you arrive at your destination. Too bad that you’ll die of old age on the way there because of how slow it is.
I’d buy the W126. The grey color is meh, but these beasts really need the turbo.
I like either, but I’d go for the S-Klasse because it’s got a turbo, it’s got more presence and it’s from the year I was born.
I’m so old…
I picked the 300sd due to it is more complete and more of a touch up car.
For $2500 you can drive around. Stop at MACCO get a cheap paint job and fix the interior if you want to. Probably can get new covers if the padding and frame is good
Side Note: I was logged in but had to login to post. Had to stop my troubleshooting mind from trying to diagnose it.
I’ve had the same issue with uploading comments.
I would actually be in the market for the S class if it weren’t so far away.
This is what is pulling $2500 these days? God help us.
I’ve never seen a Mercedes diesel of that era in decent drivable condition for less than $2,000. Maybe drivable and missing both rocker panels and the bottom edge of all the doors. Or with a huge dent and obvious alignment problems…
Around here, once past their peak desirability days, these were generally snatched up by frugals who wanted to run on waste veggie oil or home converted biodiesel.
For me the SD please. I believe we didn’t get this combination (S-Klasse and Diesel) in Germany, back in the days.
S-Class, because someone else’s unfinished project just screams Bad Idea to me.
I picked the Mercedes. Was kind of a no-brainer.
Is that a faded grey Merc or has it been primered?
w126, as it appears to offer a bit more amenities and the fresh parts are a nice addition. Unfortunately both don’t have a sunroof, which would have been a nice touch. Watch out for the hidden rust on clogged drains by the front fenders. Do they ever look crumbled once the fenders are off.
Great way to increase the output from the turbo…exchange the stock unit with a Holset, either adjust just IP or get one rebuild with bigger pump elements and it is possible to almost double the power, superturbodiesel.com helps.
Ugh.
Neither of those does anything for me at all considering the engines in each, but the W126 just lacks something that the W123 had in spades.
Gimme the style of the W123, I can always Cummins swap it.
Are people doing that? It seems like the engine bay would be awfully tight for that.
I’m sure you could with a big enough hammer. Might be a Cummins 4BT instead of a six cylinder, but that would still push it down the road nicely.
The Cummins 4BT is a decently powerful engine and short enough to fit under the hood of a late (V6) Jeep. I’m sure it would pep up the 123 and be much more reliable too.
4BTs are HEAVY. They clock in at over 750 lbs. I think a nice VW TDI engine is called for.
Eh, stock 617 Merc diesel is about 600lbs. Not a huge difference.
I agree. In addition to the W123 having better styling the thought of an old turbo makes me nervous.
My first car was an ’85 300D with an unknown number of miles in excess of 270,000 on it that I paid $2,500 for. It looked very cool, and was very much a mechanical nightmare. If they run, they run. But if they have problems, those problems will try to kill you.
The paint may be mat, and the seat may be torn, but at least they grey one is all THERE. Gimme the turbo.
I picked it too. But… is that MBTex in there? They *wore a hole through MBTex*? How? Spiky keys in back pocket for 286000 miles? Caustic farts? A vestigial tail?
I picked the 300SD, at least the exterior and interior are in better shape. And the grey paint is better than choco-turd brown.
I am surprised to find myself in disagreement. I am so sick to death of gray cars that I actually prefer brown now.
Anyway, I have less than no interest in either of these, but I’ll take the older one just because it looks slightly more eccentric than the Yuppie’s Aspiration from ’84.