Home » I Have To Go Help David Move In The Cold Oh Crap: Cold Start

I Have To Go Help David Move In The Cold Oh Crap: Cold Start

Cs Antarcticcars

I’m going to be out today and through Monday because I agreed to help our own David Tracy pack up more of the cold, frozen shanty full of sharp, cold, rusty metal things he called his house as he attempts to finally completely move to sunny, less-miserable Los Angeles. It’s going to suuuuuuuuuuccccccckkkkkk because David told me the high will be 10° and there’s snow and everything there is a mess because he lives like a filthy animal that hordes rusty car parts and every step is going to be so cold and painful and oh god why did I agree to this why why why?

We will be having the Big Autopian Readers Party, of course, so that’ll be fun but every moment before and after that is about guaranteed to be pure frozen hell. Have I told you about what his bathroom sink looks like? Maybe the unholy life that’s developing in there will be willing to help us carry frozen transmission cases to the truck with their slimy tentacles, or something.

Those cars up there, by the way, are two Antarctic automotive firsts: the left one is the 1907 Arrol-Johnston brought by Earnest Shackleford on his Antarctic expedition, and while it was air-cooled and used non-freezing oil, it never really worked, because is was not able to get any real traction in snow, and was mostly a failure. Really, nobody quite knew how to test the car for adequate performance in the Antarctic conditions, so it’s really not too surprising it was a bust.

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

Cs Antarctica1

More successful was Antarctic 1, a 1963 Volkswagen Beetle that was the first production car in Antarctica, and the first one that actually worked. Fitted with VW’s cold weather package, snow chains, and some frame reinforcements, Antarctica 1 was used to great effect by the Australian National Antarctic Research Expeditions.

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I’m going to use that Beetle as my Spirit Car as David forces me to haul shit through the icy muck, and contemplate that little red Beetle when I just want to crawl into some hole and be warm, warm and immobile, wishing this nightmare would end.

Anyway, wish me luck!

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hugh crawford
hugh crawford
1 year ago

Wouldn’t this move be altogether more pleasant if it were done in June?

hugh crawford
hugh crawford
1 year ago

When I think of Antarctic land vehicles this is what comes to mind.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antarctic_Snow_Cruiser

Probably would have worked with snow ties and not slicks.

bockscar
bockscar
1 year ago

Will there be another “press on regardless” drive of grim death?

Millermatic
Millermatic
1 year ago

Can I assume David will not be getting his security deposit back?

nauthiz
nauthiz
1 year ago
Reply to  Millermatic

I’m assuming his saint of a landlord is going to need to burn the house down for the insurance money and start over from scratch in order to still have rental income from that property after David leaves.

Turkina
Turkina
1 year ago

I just drove 300 miles tonight to facilitate a shady parking lot exchange that netted my friends two pug puppies. I did not mind. My friends thought I was a little nuts for offering to drive them (silly non-automobile people, how do they live without automotive freedom!). So I’m okay with a bit of altruistic assistance.

No effing way would I approach the old Tracy household without a cattle prod and a dumpster. I’ve cleaned out hoarder houses in a past life, and I got no patience for someone who clutches handfuls of rusty bolts and valve lifters in their greasy, unclean hands for dear life.

Cleanse it with fire!

tacotruckdave
tacotruckdave
1 year ago

Cmon every one of the 100+ guests gets a door prize. Any piece of crap DT hasnt packed. He can get better parts in Callie, and yhis gets trash removed.

Saddle Tramp
Saddle Tramp
1 year ago

Sorry. You did this to yourself this time. No sympathy. Just bring thermal underwear and a barf bucket for David. 🙂

Fraser Houston
Fraser Houston
1 year ago

Perhaps part of this party is loading up a truck with DT’s stuff? I’ll bring my weight belt and welding apron:)

theotherotter
theotherotter
1 year ago

I think David is going to owe you an entire car as a thank-you by the time he finishes moving.

stryker_t
stryker_t
1 year ago
Reply to  theotherotter

are you sure about that? we’ve read of some of DT’s gift cars lol

FloridaNative
FloridaNative
1 year ago
Reply to  theotherotter

I think David likes/appreciates Torch too much to do that to him.

KennyB
KennyB
1 year ago

Torch is going to be there Saturday? Just one more reason to go.

CalLook67
CalLook67
1 year ago

Earnest Shackleford? Must have been a redneck relative of Shackleton…

Last Pants
Last Pants
1 year ago
Reply to  CalLook67

I’m picturing him at parties. “Hey girls, Earnest Shacklehmm here. Want me to show you my south pole?”

hugh crawford
hugh crawford
1 year ago
Reply to  Last Pants

The ladies prefer poles that point north.
Don’t blame me, “last pants” set this one up.

BigThingsComin
BigThingsComin
1 year ago
Reply to  CalLook67

Ernest Shacklememe

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